This is a part of a special Fearless Living Training Program (FLTP) Blog Series, that follows two Fearless Living Training Program students as they documented their journey going through the program each week. Laurie Weaver created the beautiful images and Juile Panhke Nelson wrote about her experience, both inspired by each week while in the FLTP.
Week 9 – Fearbusters
Guest Blog Piece, Julie Jahnke Nelson
From Fear Junkies to Fearbusters
As I reflect on the people in my life, and whether they’re Fear Junkies or Fearbusters, I see some of each.
Looking back, I remember when a friend at work and I first read “Fearless Living”, and we learned about Complaining Buddies. We realized that’s what we were to each other. We decided to stop complaining about things – problems at work, projects that didn’t go right– and anything else we could think of.
Once we stopped complaining, it was a little weird, because we didn’t have anything to talk to each other about. It was weird, but we also thought it was kind of funny. And we knew then how big a part complaining played in our lives and our friendship.
It took us awhile, but after some time, we learned to shift our conversations from complaining to only speaking positively. We took the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all” to heart. We learned to shift our thinking and our language. We used each other as Venting Partners, but we vowed to stop complaining.
And, oh my gosh, it made a huge, gigantic difference. Things started looking up. All of the things we had complained about started shifting from negative to positive.
When it comes to Fear Junkies, for me, Complaining Buddies come easy. I suppose it’s partly because complaining comes so naturally, and so many people do it. It’s not hard to find other people who are willing to complain with you, and it becomes a way to bond. A lot of friendships are built on complaining, and we don’t even realize it.
Along with Complaining Buddies, there are a few Dream Drainers in my life, too. They think they’re trying to help by warning me so I don’t get hurt. It helps to know that they have my best interest at heart, but that I need to be careful not to give up on my dreams, just because of their fears.
As far as Fearbusters go, I’m fortunate to have several Support Buddies that I can count on who are behind me in my endeavors. I have one very important Support Buddy, who is also a Powerful Partner, and that’s my husband, and for that, I’m very grateful. He continually supports me in my quest to become a freelance writing, no matter how long it has taken me, and through all of my starts and stops, he has never stopped supporting me and encouraging me. He’s also a Powerful Partner, in that we have a lot of common goals that we work toward.
My Life Now
On a side note… this process hasn’t been easy. Digging deep and growing never is, but reminding myself to treat myself with compassion and to be gentle along the way has helped. I need to tell myself those things now and into the future. It’s easy to slip into old habits, including old ways of thinking. But as long as I remember that it’s normal, and don’t give up, I know I can continue to make improvements to my already wonderful life, to make it even better, and exceed in the areas where I’ve been stuck.
During the past nine weeks I’ve learned that fear exists to protect my self-esteem and is the gate-keeper of my comfort zone. And being willing to practice doing something makes it less threatening or unachievable, so it takes the pressure off.
My life now? It’s pretty darn incredible!! (Happy dance time!!!)
To learn more about the Fearless Living Training Progam, CLICK HERE!
Links to FLTP Blog Series: