Here we are just days away from another opportunity to change our lives. That's what New Years represents to me: a time to let go of what doesn't work and accept more of what does, ie who I really am.
I'm funny about dates. I use dates to bring things to an end, the final end. That's how I filed for divorce (the date was my ex's birthday - he chose the date not me). That's how I left an abusive relationship (New Years eve so many years ago). That's how I quit drinking (May 4 over 20 years ago).
Dates give me courage. I tell myself 'this (whatever 'this' is) will not follow me into next year, next month, tomorrow.' And having that date looming makes me say things that needs to be said, clean up the past and generally, get things in order for crossing the date line.
I take the New Year seriously. I may be a weak-willed pansy on Dec 31st but gosh darn it all, January 1st I am fearless. I do not look back.
Now to be honest, I may quiver and quake up until midnight. I may hem and haw and change my mind a hundred times. But by midnight, I have resolved it. For good.
It doesn't have to be New Years. I could pick Feb 8th my sisters birthday and the date Celebrity Fit Club will start airing. That's a significant date.
My mothers birthday is Feb 20th. That would be a great date to celebrate my independent spirit by doing something bold. Any date that gives me pause is a date I could choose.
And when that date is chosen, I prepare. 1. I tell myself the truth. 2. I honor my very real human emotions. 3. I face what I really need from myself to be more myself. 4. I forgive myself again and again. 5. I give myself time to cry, and grief and mourn. 6. I ask myself what will I have or who will I be if I release X and accept Y? 7. I act from my higher good, my more conscious self, and start treating myself as if I am healed, transformed. 8. I become grateful for all 'it' gave me. 9. I say 'good-bye' in a concrete way. It could be writing a letter or painting a heart or throwing rocks in the stream. It doesn't matter but good-bye must be honored and given space.
When I allow my humanity to resist and feel and rebel in a safe and loving way. When I give myself the space to experience what is inside me. When I do that, I have more courage to step out more fearlessly.
And it helps to have all of you prodding me on. That absolutely gives me courage.
Thank you for being my vocal and silent support system. Thank you for wanting to be more fearless because that inspires me to me. Thank you for courageously walking into 2010.
May we all be more fearless regardless of what we think, what we feel or what they say. May we choose to live in our own skin, be in charge of our own choices, walk with more ease and grace. May we discover more of who we truly are in 2010.
Are you willing to be more fearless in 2010? Start now.
Until next time - be fearless! Rhonda