Before we begin, I have a little disclaimer. Valentine’s Day is for everyone.
Yes—You heard me right. VALENTINE’S DAY IS FOR EVERYONE.
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, newly single, don’t want a relationship, are actively looking for that special someone, and everything in between, Valentine’s Day is for you. It’s a day to celebrate love of all shapes and sizes, including self-love.
In this guide, I’ll share tips for making the most of Valentine’s Day, no matter your relationship status. Because the relationship that matters most of all is the one you have with yourself.
February 14th can be a tough time for many of us. While I certainly enjoy all of the pink and all of the joy, it’s undeniable that Valentine’s Day can make many people, including me, feel insecure. There’s a reason it’s colloquially known as “Single Person’s Awareness Day.”
If you’re alone on Valentine’s Day, it’s natural to feel feelings of rejection, loneliness, and judgment.
Why haven’t you found that special someone? Why has no one chosen you? Why are your friends or siblings in loving relationships when you’re not? Will you ever find love, or are you destined to spend every Valentine’s Day alone? While all of these feelings are very real, and they may be based on your past experiences, they are grounded in fear.
Your fear of loneliness is telling you that you’ll never find someone. Your fear of being judged is telling you that you’re the only one who doesn’t have a special someone. Your fear of not being good enough is telling you that you don’t deserve love.
But friends, let’s take a GIANT step back for a second.
I know first-hand how powerfully destructive and insidious fear can be. Fear wants you to believe you are not loved. Fear wants you to believe Valentine’s Day, and everyone who participates in it, is out to get you—out to remind you that you’re all alone.
THIS. IS. NOT. TRUE.
That’s fear whispering and sometimes screaming lies into your ears. Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate all relationships, whether they be friendships or the relationships you share with your coworkers and family members. It’s a day to cherish the fact that you are loved and you love in return. It’s a day to love yourself and celebrate the relationship you have with yourself.
So, how do you do that? Let’s get down to it!
How to Find Self-Love on Valentine’s Day
Accept Yourself Exactly as You Are
On Valentine’s Day, it’s time to be intentional about how you speak and think about yourself. Your words to yourself matter.
Release yourself from the grip of fear for just a moment and repeat after me:
I am enough exactly as I am.
I am enough exactly as I am.
I AM ENOUGH EXACTLY AS I AM!
Those words may feel difficult or even false at first, but the more you repeat them, the more real they’ll become. Accepting yourself and loving yourself is a huge part of finding love from someone else. And it’s often the hardest part.
This Valentine’s Day, please, please, PLEASE go easy on yourself and show yourself some compassion and self-love. No matter where you are in your life, what setbacks you’re dealing with, or where you are on your FEARLESS journey, hear my words: YOU ARE ENOUGH.
Repeat it, write it down, stick it on your mirror, and shout it out to the world: I AM ENOUGH EXACTLY AS I AM!
Practice Self-Care
Whether you have a special someone or not, the next step to a successful Valentine’s Day is to practice self-care.
If you want to live the life your soul intended™, you must prioritize self-love—no matter what circumstances or insecurities try to stand in the way. Everything, including your happiness, health, success, your ability to be there for the people you love, and your personal identity, depends on the fuel of self-love.
I get it—life gets in the way. I’ve been there many times before. As soon as I get busy, it’s often my self-care that takes a backseat.
But that’s the thing about Valentine’s Day; it’s ALL about love. Take a step away from the cheesy commercials and Hallmark cards and channel that love back to yourself.
Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship of all.
What self-love looks like to you depends on your own needs, health, and personal hobbies. If you’re not sure where to start, don’t worry—I can help!
Here are some examples of self-care:
- Work on a craft or art project.
- Read your favorite book or watch your favorite movie.
- Learn something new. Download Duolingo or practice an instrument.
- Go for a swim in your favorite bathing suit.
- Go for a walk in nature and count the animals.
- Garden.
- Treat yourself to a mani, pedi, or facial.
- Meditate or try yoga.
- Journal and keep a diary.
- Eat a sweet treat.
- Eat something delicious and healthy.
- Drink lots of water (Feeling sluggish or grumpy? You’re probably dehydrated right now!)
- Sleep on your favorite sheets.
- Slather on your favorite scented lotion.
- Read some inspiring quotes.
- Do anything that connects you back to YOU!
“Acts of self-care are acts of self-love.” – Rhonda Britten
Turn Valentine’s Day Upside Down
One of the most important things to remember is that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be centered on romantic love.
How can you do something special with your favorite gal pals? How can you show your siblings how much you care about them? How can you take someone younger in your life, such as a niece or nephew, on a small adventure they will never forget? How can you brighten someone’s day even if you don’t know them?
Random acts of kindness will pass on the love of Valentine’s Day, and the act of making someone else smile will make you feel better too. Happiness is contagious. Spread a little happiness throughout February!
Valentine’s Day is about celebrating LOVE. Period. How can you make someone’s day, and, in turn, your own, extra special?
Find Your Tribe
We all want to belong. We all want to have a tribe. This is biologically ingrained in all humans—it’s in our DNA! When you have a tribe, you are safe. You are loved. There are people to protect you.
But in order to get the benefits of that tribe, you must surround yourself with positive relationships. Spend time with people who build you up, accept you for who you are, and respect the boundaries you’ve set.
So many of us get stuck in toxic relationships that we stay in because we don’t know what good, healthy relationships look like.
Toxic relationships are a far too large topic for this article. I encourage you to read my guide on toxic relationships, which will help you figure out if you’re in one and help you break free from any unhealthy relationships that are holding you back.
Read this 👉🏻 How to Move on From a Toxic Relationship (And How to Recognize One).
Think about the friends and family members you spend the most time with. Who leaves you feeling energized? Who leaves you feeling excited about possibilities? Who makes you feel like you can be and achieve anything you put your mind to?
THESE are the people who BELONG in your tribe. These are the people and the relationships worth celebrating on Valentine’s Day and throughout the year.
Release Yourself From Judgment
As I’ve already mentioned (and as I’m sure you already know), Valentine’s Day can open the floodgates of feelings of rejection, loneliness, and not being good enough. It can feel like everyone in the entire world is shouting their happiness and their success in your face.
Friends, I GET IT! Technically, I’m single right now, too. But that’s not the full story. I’m not single or alone in any way. I have so many close friends, my family, and the entire Fearless Living community. AND YOU DO, TOO!
So please, don’t beat yourself up. Valentine’s Day is not just for romance.
It is a day to celebrate all of the different forms of love you give and receive in your life.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful, and you are loved. And Valentine’s Day is a day to remember that and to celebrate it. Let go of your insecurities and embrace the joy of your many fulfilling relationships!
The Power of Self-Love
Decide that you will practice loving yourself. For real.
No more "I hate this about me" or "I hate that about me." No more hating. Or abusing. Or hurting.
If you don't love yourself, you'll never believe anyone else really really loves you. You won't be able to receive, accept, and soak up another person's love.
Let's turn our gaze from outside of ourselves to inside of ourselves.
Let's quit looking outside of ourselves for the love we so desperately seek and give it to ourselves.
Valentine's Day, at its core, is about spreading love.
And that my friend, includes you loving you.
You are worthy of love.
Because you are worth loving.
This Valentine’s Day, I hope you will:
- Accept Yourself Exactly as You Are
- Practice Self-Care
- Turn Valentine’s Day Upside Down
- Find Your Tribe
- Release Yourself from Judgment
You don’t have to go it alone! Surround yourself with people who are ecstatic about practicing self-love, and slowly but surely, you’ll crack the secret code to fear.
And friends, I have AMAZING news.
My new Love Book is here and ready for your self-love journey. Gain access to my brand-new 21 Days of Self Love LOVEBOOK: A Lovebook to Reveal Your Heart and Love Who You Are.
xo Rhonda
Before we begin, I have a little disclaimer. Valentine’s Day is for everyone.
Yes—You heard me right. VALENTINE’S DAY IS FOR EVERYONE.
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, newly single, don’t want a relationship, are actively looking for that special someone, and everything in between, Valentine’s Day is for you. It’s a day to celebrate love of all shapes and sizes, including self-love.
In this guide, I’ll share tips for making the most of Valentine’s Day, no matter your relationship status. Because the relationship that matters most of all is the one you have with yourself.
February 14th can be a tough time for many of us. While I certainly enjoy all of the pink and all of the joy, it’s undeniable that Valentine’s Day can make many people, including me, feel insecure. There’s a reason it’s colloquially known as “Single Person’s Awareness Day.”
If you’re alone on Valentine’s Day, it’s natural to feel feelings of rejection, loneliness, and judgment.
Why haven’t you found that special someone? Why has no one chosen you? Why are your friends or siblings in loving relationships when you’re not? Will you ever find love, or are you destined to spend every Valentine’s Day alone? While all of these feelings are very real, and they may be based on your past experiences, they are grounded in fear.
Your fear of loneliness is telling you that you’ll never find someone. Your fear of being judged is telling you that you’re the only one who doesn’t have a special someone. Your fear of not being good enough is telling you that you don’t deserve love.
But friends, let’s take a GIANT step back for a second.
I know first-hand how powerfully destructive and insidious fear can be. Fear wants you to believe you are not loved. Fear wants you to believe Valentine’s Day, and everyone who participates in it, is out to get you—out to remind you that you’re all alone.
THIS. IS. NOT. TRUE.
That’s fear whispering and sometimes screaming lies into your ears. Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate all relationships, whether they be friendships or the relationships you share with your coworkers and family members. It’s a day to cherish the fact that you are loved and you love in return. It’s a day to love yourself and celebrate the relationship you have with yourself.
So, how do you do that? Let’s get down to it!
How to Find Self-Love on Valentine’s Day
Accept Yourself Exactly as You Are
On Valentine’s Day, it’s time to be intentional about how you speak and think about yourself. Your words to yourself matter.
Release yourself from the grip of fear for just a moment and repeat after me:
I am enough exactly as I am.
I am enough exactly as I am.
I AM ENOUGH EXACTLY AS I AM!
Those words may feel difficult or even false at first, but the more you repeat them, the more real they’ll become. Accepting yourself and loving yourself is a huge part of finding love from someone else. And it’s often the hardest part.
This Valentine’s Day, please, please, PLEASE go easy on yourself and show yourself some compassion and self-love. No matter where you are in your life, what setbacks you’re dealing with, or where you are on your FEARLESS journey, hear my words: YOU ARE ENOUGH.
Repeat it, write it down, stick it on your mirror, and shout it out to the world: I AM ENOUGH EXACTLY AS I AM!
Practice Self-Care
Whether you have a special someone or not, the next step to a successful Valentine’s Day is to practice self-care.
If you want to live the life your soul intended™, you must prioritize self-love—no matter what circumstances or insecurities try to stand in the way. Everything, including your happiness, health, success, your ability to be there for the people you love, and your personal identity, depends on the fuel of self-love.
I get it—life gets in the way. I’ve been there many times before. As soon as I get busy, it’s often my self-care that takes a backseat.
But that’s the thing about Valentine’s Day; it’s ALL about love. Take a step away from the cheesy commercials and Hallmark cards and channel that love back to yourself.
Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship of all.
What self-love looks like to you depends on your own needs, health, and personal hobbies. If you’re not sure where to start, don’t worry—I can help!
Here are some examples of self-care:
- Work on a craft or art project.
- Read your favorite book or watch your favorite movie.
- Learn something new. Download Duolingo or practice an instrument.
- Go for a swim in your favorite bathing suit.
- Go for a walk in nature and count the animals.
- Garden.
- Treat yourself to a mani, pedi, or facial.
- Meditate or try yoga.
- Journal and keep a diary.
- Eat a sweet treat.
- Eat something delicious and healthy.
- Drink lots of water (Feeling sluggish or grumpy? You’re probably dehydrated right now!)
- Sleep on your favorite sheets.
- Slather on your favorite scented lotion.
- Read some inspiring quotes.
- Do anything that connects you back to YOU!
“Acts of self-care are acts of self-love.” – Rhonda Britten
Turn Valentine’s Day Upside Down
One of the most important things to remember is that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be centered on romantic love.
How can you do something special with your favorite gal pals? How can you show your siblings how much you care about them? How can you take someone younger in your life, such as a niece or nephew, on a small adventure they will never forget? How can you brighten someone’s day even if you don’t know them?
Random acts of kindness will pass on the love of Valentine’s Day, and the act of making someone else smile will make you feel better too. Happiness is contagious. Spread a little happiness throughout February!
Valentine’s Day is about celebrating LOVE. Period. How can you make someone’s day, and, in turn, your own, extra special?
Find Your Tribe
We all want to belong. We all want to have a tribe. This is biologically ingrained in all humans—it’s in our DNA! When you have a tribe, you are safe. You are loved. There are people to protect you.
But in order to get the benefits of that tribe, you must surround yourself with positive relationships. Spend time with people who build you up, accept you for who you are, and respect the boundaries you’ve set.
So many of us get stuck in toxic relationships that we stay in because we don’t know what good, healthy relationships look like.
Toxic relationships are a far too large topic for this article. I encourage you to read my guide on toxic relationships, which will help you figure out if you’re in one and help you break free from any unhealthy relationships that are holding you back.
Read this 👉🏻 How to Move on From a Toxic Relationship (And How to Recognize One).
Think about the friends and family members you spend the most time with. Who leaves you feeling energized? Who leaves you feeling excited about possibilities? Who makes you feel like you can be and achieve anything you put your mind to?
THESE are the people who BELONG in your tribe. These are the people and the relationships worth celebrating on Valentine’s Day and throughout the year.
Release Yourself From Judgment
As I’ve already mentioned (and as I’m sure you already know), Valentine’s Day can open the floodgates of feelings of rejection, loneliness, and not being good enough. It can feel like everyone in the entire world is shouting their happiness and their success in your face.
Friends, I GET IT! Technically, I’m single right now, too. But that’s not the full story. I’m not single or alone in any way. I have so many close friends, my family, and the entire Fearless Living community. AND YOU DO, TOO!
So please, don’t beat yourself up. Valentine’s Day is not just for romance.
It is a day to celebrate all of the different forms of love you give and receive in your life.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful, and you are loved. And Valentine’s Day is a day to remember that and to celebrate it. Let go of your insecurities and embrace the joy of your many fulfilling relationships!
The Power of Self-Love
Decide that you will practice loving yourself. For real.
No more "I hate this about me" or "I hate that about me." No more hating. Or abusing. Or hurting.
If you don't love yourself, you'll never believe anyone else really really loves you. You won't be able to receive, accept, and soak up another person's love.
Let's turn our gaze from outside of ourselves to inside of ourselves.
Let's quit looking outside of ourselves for the love we so desperately seek and give it to ourselves.
Valentine's Day, at its core, is about spreading love.
And that my friend, includes you loving you.
You are worthy of love.
Because you are worth loving.
This Valentine’s Day, I hope you will:
- Accept Yourself Exactly as You Are
- Practice Self-Care
- Turn Valentine’s Day Upside Down
- Find Your Tribe
- Release Yourself from Judgment
You don’t have to go it alone! Surround yourself with people who are ecstatic about practicing self-love, and slowly but surely, you’ll crack the secret code to fear.
And friends, I have AMAZING news.
My new Love Book is here and ready for your self-love journey. Gain access to my brand-new 21 Days of Self Love LOVEBOOK: A Lovebook to Reveal Your Heart and Love Who You Are.
xo Rhonda
