Hmmmm....where do I start?

Well, first off, I want to thank all of you for the wonderful, loving, supportive emails you have sent to me. I am continually amazed at the generous hearts of our Fearless Community. I have received poems of hope, suggestions for exercises and just a lot of love and hugs. I am touched. And extremely grateful. You remind me what it means to be fearless. Thank you!

Second, I want to assure all of you that I am completely committed to forgiving and loving and seeing the innocence of Mr. Love-A-Lot (sometimes I think I could totally go back to him in a heartbeat). And I am also committed to experiencing the very human feeling of anger (which I rarely allow in my life).

I want to remind you that anger is one of the stages of forgiveness. And it is one that I can so 'understand away'. I mean, I get why people do what they do. I get that Mr. Love-A-Lot is raging on his Wheel of Fear. I get that he is completely enveloped in his trigger of incompetent. I get that. And because I get that I sometimes forget to actually feel my feelings.

I do not want to do that.

I want to live what I tell my client needs equal your needs. Just because I understand what Mr. Love-A-Lot might be feeling doesn't mean my needs have to be put on the back burner. (Trust me, I am good at that.) So here I sit in the muck of the journey called life.

I do not want to rush it.

Again, I understand so clearly that I can easily jump through the stages of forgiveness and wrap it all up in a nice neat package which we would all find so enlightening and loving and amazing. But then it wouldn't stick. It would eventually haunt me once again.

I do not want to pretend.

I want to actually be fearless in every moment of my life. Sometimes that will look like I am stuck and less than evolved. I am willing to risk how I might look to the outside world for a life with meaning and as my own coach says, "A life of soul satisfaction."

Mr. Love-A-Lot has been less than loving during the closing of our relationship. He has attempted to manipulate me, disempower me and blame me for everything under the sun. Again, I get that it is his Wheel of Fear. He has called all of his friends and told them a story about how we ended, his version of course, that makes me out to be Ms. Horrible. Again, I get that he is triggered big time. He sends me text messages and emails that would shock you (they did me) in his relentless pursuit to make me feel bad, guilty and ashamed to be me.

I do not want to lie.

I will not cave in to his version of the story just to make him feel better. I will not, every again, believe another person over my own intuition and my truth. I will not tell him what he wants to hear because I would be lying. He wants me to doubt myself. He wants me to second-guess our past conversations. He wants me to care more about what his friends might think of me than what I think of me. He wants me to give up me.

I do not want to die. And I would die if I gave up me.

So that is where I am. Between understanding him so well that I can be in love with him all over again to reminding myself that I have to love myself just as much if not more than I ever loved him. And to love myself, right now, at this moment in time, I have to give up caring what he thinks and what he wants. And that is hard when you love somebody. It is really hard.

I love Mr. Love-A-Lot. Always will. But today, I must choose me.

The Foundation of It all

In her groundbreaking seminal work, Rhonda Britten shows you how to master the emotional fears that keep you stuck in old cycles. Fearless Living is the foundation for all of Rhonda’s work, and it gives you an overview of her philosophies on how fear can take your life captive.

Enter your name and email address below to receive Rhonda’s Fear of the Unknown course.

By Rhonda Britten

Rhonda, voted America’s Favorite Life Coach is here to help you get unstuck. “Everyone needs Fearless Living”- Oprah Winfrey With her acclaimed method called Fearless Living, Rhonda Britten has helped thousands of people let go of indecision, gain clarity of purpose, and take life-changing risks. Her work exposes the roots of fear and gives you the tools to move beyond that insidious universal feeling of “not being good enough.” The result is unstoppable confidence and a world of unlimited possibilities.

Related Articles

Fear Series: How to Overcome Your Fear of Success

Fear Series: How to Overcome Your Fear of Success

Everyone wants success in some form or another. We want success in love, work, home, family, etc., and that’s because success means you're feeling good and on the right path, living your purpose and feeling passionate about your life. It can feel like you’re on top of...

read more
Fear Series: How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure

Fear Series: How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure

Welcome back to Fearless Living! In my How to Overcome Fear series, I’m covering each of the 10 most common emotional fears, and today’s topic is a big one—fear of failure. 😱 Fear of failure is one of the most common fears people experience, and it’s one that may be...

read more
The Real Reason Why I Was Born

The Real Reason Why I Was Born

Do you want to know the real reason you were born? The reason that will make your life “make sense” and give you so much joy and peace that you will feel like you can do anything. No more doubting or worrying about the future. No more confusion about the direction you...

read more