The Day the Ceiling Opened: How Fearless Living Really Began
Updated July 2025: This divine calling story has been expanded with new insights.
Have you ever had an idea just "come to you" out of the blue? An idea that felt like more than a download, a nudge, an intuitive hit—maybe even a divine calling from above? This is my divine calling experience.
I've been afraid to tell you the complete version of this story for almost thirty years. Because it sounds too woo-woo. Too otherworldly. Too... much.
But here's the thing: This is why I am who I am. This is the spiritual breakthrough moment that changed everything—and became the foundation of Fearless Living.
If you've ever received spiritual guidance and wondered if you were crazy, or if you've had a calling you've been afraid to follow, maybe you need to hear this.
I Didn't Think It Was For Me
It was spring 1995. I was in my third year of a four-year program to become a spiritual practitioner (think of a counselor for God stuff!). At the same time, I was working for one of the first life coaches on the planet.
Paul was a brilliant man (and still is!). I was in awe of him. The way his brain worked was astonishing. So it was incredibly crazy to me when he told me on a somewhat regular basis that "You're going to end up being a better coach than me."
LOLOLOLOL was my answer every time.
Better coach? Had he forgotten who he was talking to?
I'd survived multiple suicide attempts. I had DUIs, a history of alcoholism, and had been the sole witness to my father murdering my mother. I still believed I was my past. I didn't think I could move past it—because I didn't yet believe that was a real thing. Not for me.
So when Paul said it, I'd shrug him off. You're insane, I thought.
But I kept showing up. I kept helping him build his business. Design his programs. Sit in brainstorm sessions while he mapped ideas on a whiteboard and I camped out on his couch, tossing out titles and strategies.
Until one day—everything changed.
The Divine Download That Changed Everything
While we were mid-brainstorm, Paul standing at the whiteboard and me sitting on the couch, the oddest otherworldly thing happened:
The ceiling opened up. I'm not speaking metaphorically. The ceiling literally opened.
A cloud jutted out holding a big gigantic book. The pages of the book began flipping rapidly, one after another. As the last page fell, the book shut as quickly as it had opened, and the cloud disappeared from whence it came.
I was gobsmacked. This was what I later learned to call a divine download—a moment when spiritual guidance comes through so clearly, so completely, that you can't deny its source.
Every question I'd ever asked—answered. And one clear message: Now you must go teach this.
I didn't think it was for me.
I turned toward the door to see who had walked in because I was convinced I must have simply "overheard" the messages imprinted on each page. But no one was there.
I looked over at Paul; surely he would be staring at me in disbelief at what we both heard and saw. But he was just blabbing away about this and that, completely clueless to what had just transpired: the cloud, the book, the download.
Meanwhile, I was flooded. Filled. Flattened. The information I received—the answer to every question I had ever asked—was beyond my skill set to disseminate. There was no way I was the right person for the job.
When Fear Meets Calling
Thank God I had a meeting the next day with my spiritual mentor, Dr. Joan Steadman, a minister at Agape Spiritual Center of Truth.
The minute I entered her office, like a rabbit with rabies, I was itching and scratching, trying to get some answers. Who was this message for? What does this all mean? I must be the conduit to give it to the "right" person.
After patiently listening to me ramble on while, at the same time, arguing with myself, she simply said:
"You've received the call. You're ready."
Oh, that's hysterical, I said more than once.
Did you forget I am an alcoholic, tried to kill myself three times, acquired three DUIs, and spent some time in jail? Oh, and don't forget I was the sole witness to my father murdering my mother. No. No. No. This message is not for me.
"You've received the call. You're ready," was her only reply.
Here's what I know now that I didn't know then: Your Wheel of Fear will always tell you you're not ready. It will list every reason why you're inadequate, unprepared, unworthy. It will keep you safe by keeping you small.
But your Essential Nature? Your soul? It knows you're ready before you do.
This is one of the clearest signs of spiritual awakening—the tension between your fear-mind that says "not me, not now" and your soul that whispers "yes, you, now."
The Six-Month Wrestling Match
For six months, I wrestled with the message from the cloud, the book, the download, and Dr. Steadman's answer. For six months, I did nothing. For six months, I fought it, pushed it away, didn't believe I was worthy.
Who am I to do what I've been told is mine to do?
My entire being rejected this farcical idea. I did everything to convince my mentor and, yes, God, too, that they had the wrong person.
I. COULD. NOT. DO. IT. I. WOULD. NOT. DO. IT. I. CAN'T.
I will make a fool of myself. Won't I?
Here's what I want you to understand: The only difference between you and me is—I acted on it. Eventually.
Not right away. I sat on it for months. I wrestled with it. Tried to talk myself out of it.
But the words of my spiritual mentor echoed in every cell of my being: You're ready. You're ready. You're ready.
The Moment I Said Yes
Then one day, while I was helping Paul sell one of his workshops, my friend Lisa said something that changed everything.
I was promoting his brilliance. Not mine. I didn't think I had any.
I went to Lisa and told her, "You've got to take Paul's class. He's a genius."
And she looked at me and said: "Why don't you coach me?"
I laughed out loud. Me? Coach you? No. No way. Paul is the one. I'm just the PR girl.
But she wouldn't let it go. "No. I want you to coach me."
She kept at me. And eventually... I said yes.
Not because I felt ready. But because something in me whispered, try.
When Everything Clicked
At first, I didn't trust myself. I'd coach Lisa, then run back to Paul after every session.
"She said this, I said that—what now?"
It took about six months of coaching Lisa every week. Six months of self-doubt and secret prayers. Six months of running to Paul, trying to earn what had already been given.
And then one day, mid-session—it clicked.
I knew.
Not from my brain. Not from training. I knew what to say. What to ask.
Because I wasn't the one saying it. I wasn't the one doing it. Source was moving through me.
The divine download hadn't just been a moment. It was still happening. It is still happening.
That's when I stopped asking Paul. That's when I started trusting the voice inside me. That's when I realized: this is how to trust your spiritual calling.
The Birth of Fearless Living
But you already know the end of the story. Eventually, I surrendered, and since the day I finally, with much fear in my heart, said yes, I have shared the download I received from the pages inside that book.
I could sum up all the pages by saying: "There's nothing wrong with you, it's just fear."
What would eventually be named the "Fearless Living Institute" officially began when I worked with my first client on August 15, 1995.
Can you believe it? This baby, my work, God's work through me, called Fearless Living has been around since 1995—nearly thirty years of helping people see that they're not broken, just brilliantly protected.
What I Stand For Now
Now when I coach, I know I stand for your soul until you can.
Until you can hear your own voice.
Until you can speak your own truth.
Until you can walk with your own knowing.
I speak the words your soul is trying to say. Until you remember how to listen.
This divine calling experience became the spiritual foundation of everything I teach. The Wheel of Fear and Wheel of Freedom framework grew directly from this download—and I'm still receiving guidance on how to help you step into your own calling.
Your Call Is Waiting
Here's what I want to know: What call have you been ignoring? What whisper have you been talking yourself out of? What spiritual guidance have you dismissed as "just your imagination"?
Because the only difference between you and me is—I acted on it. Eventually.
How to trust your spiritual calling starts with one simple step: Stop waiting for permission to be who your soul already knows you are.
If you've had a moment like that—a whisper, a vision, a knowing—don't ignore it. Don't run from it. Don't try to logic it away.
Instead... Sit with it. Ask what it wants from you. And when you're ready—say yes.
Because maybe the ceiling opened for a reason. And maybe... you got the call.
What are you waiting for?
Fearless Living, Fearless You, and the Fearless Living Life Coach Certification Program wouldn't be anything without brave souls like you who are willing to answer their call. Thank you for being on this journey with me.
The Day the Ceiling Opened: How Fearless Living Really Began
Updated July 2025: This divine calling story has been expanded with new insights.
Have you ever had an idea just "come to you" out of the blue? An idea that felt like more than a download, a nudge, an intuitive hit—maybe even a divine calling from above? This is my divine calling experience.
I've been afraid to tell you the complete version of this story for almost thirty years. Because it sounds too woo-woo. Too otherworldly. Too... much.
But here's the thing: This is why I am who I am. This is the spiritual breakthrough moment that changed everything—and became the foundation of Fearless Living.
If you've ever received spiritual guidance and wondered if you were crazy, or if you've had a calling you've been afraid to follow, maybe you need to hear this.
I Didn't Think It Was For Me
It was spring 1995. I was in my third year of a four-year program to become a spiritual practitioner (think of a counselor for God stuff!). At the same time, I was working for one of the first life coaches on the planet.
Paul was a brilliant man (and still is!). I was in awe of him. The way his brain worked was astonishing. So it was incredibly crazy to me when he told me on a somewhat regular basis that "You're going to end up being a better coach than me."
LOLOLOLOL was my answer every time.
Better coach? Had he forgotten who he was talking to?
I'd survived multiple suicide attempts. I had DUIs, a history of alcoholism, and had been the sole witness to my father murdering my mother. I still believed I was my past. I didn't think I could move past it—because I didn't yet believe that was a real thing. Not for me.
So when Paul said it, I'd shrug him off. You're insane, I thought.
But I kept showing up. I kept helping him build his business. Design his programs. Sit in brainstorm sessions while he mapped ideas on a whiteboard and I camped out on his couch, tossing out titles and strategies.
Until one day—everything changed.
The Divine Download That Changed Everything
While we were mid-brainstorm, Paul standing at the whiteboard and me sitting on the couch, the oddest otherworldly thing happened:
The ceiling opened up. I'm not speaking metaphorically. The ceiling literally opened.
A cloud jutted out holding a big gigantic book. The pages of the book began flipping rapidly, one after another. As the last page fell, the book shut as quickly as it had opened, and the cloud disappeared from whence it came.
I was gobsmacked. This was what I later learned to call a divine download—a moment when spiritual guidance comes through so clearly, so completely, that you can't deny its source.
Every question I'd ever asked—answered. And one clear message: Now you must go teach this.
I didn't think it was for me.
I turned toward the door to see who had walked in because I was convinced I must have simply "overheard" the messages imprinted on each page. But no one was there.
I looked over at Paul; surely he would be staring at me in disbelief at what we both heard and saw. But he was just blabbing away about this and that, completely clueless to what had just transpired: the cloud, the book, the download.
Meanwhile, I was flooded. Filled. Flattened. The information I received—the answer to every question I had ever asked—was beyond my skill set to disseminate. There was no way I was the right person for the job.
When Fear Meets Calling
Thank God I had a meeting the next day with my spiritual mentor, Dr. Joan Steadman, a minister at Agape Spiritual Center of Truth.
The minute I entered her office, like a rabbit with rabies, I was itching and scratching, trying to get some answers. Who was this message for? What does this all mean? I must be the conduit to give it to the "right" person.
After patiently listening to me ramble on while, at the same time, arguing with myself, she simply said:
"You've received the call. You're ready."
Oh, that's hysterical, I said more than once.
Did you forget I am an alcoholic, tried to kill myself three times, acquired three DUIs, and spent some time in jail? Oh, and don't forget I was the sole witness to my father murdering my mother. No. No. No. This message is not for me.
"You've received the call. You're ready," was her only reply.
Here's what I know now that I didn't know then: Your Wheel of Fear will always tell you you're not ready. It will list every reason why you're inadequate, unprepared, unworthy. It will keep you safe by keeping you small.
But your Essential Nature? Your soul? It knows you're ready before you do.
This is one of the clearest signs of spiritual awakening—the tension between your fear-mind that says "not me, not now" and your soul that whispers "yes, you, now."
The Six-Month Wrestling Match
For six months, I wrestled with the message from the cloud, the book, the download, and Dr. Steadman's answer. For six months, I did nothing. For six months, I fought it, pushed it away, didn't believe I was worthy.
Who am I to do what I've been told is mine to do?
My entire being rejected this farcical idea. I did everything to convince my mentor and, yes, God, too, that they had the wrong person.
I. COULD. NOT. DO. IT. I. WOULD. NOT. DO. IT. I. CAN'T.
I will make a fool of myself. Won't I?
Here's what I want you to understand: The only difference between you and me is—I acted on it. Eventually.
Not right away. I sat on it for months. I wrestled with it. Tried to talk myself out of it.
But the words of my spiritual mentor echoed in every cell of my being: You're ready. You're ready. You're ready.
The Moment I Said Yes
Then one day, while I was helping Paul sell one of his workshops, my friend Lisa said something that changed everything.
I was promoting his brilliance. Not mine. I didn't think I had any.
I went to Lisa and told her, "You've got to take Paul's class. He's a genius."
And she looked at me and said: "Why don't you coach me?"
I laughed out loud. Me? Coach you? No. No way. Paul is the one. I'm just the PR girl.
But she wouldn't let it go. "No. I want you to coach me."
She kept at me. And eventually... I said yes.
Not because I felt ready. But because something in me whispered, try.
When Everything Clicked
At first, I didn't trust myself. I'd coach Lisa, then run back to Paul after every session.
"She said this, I said that—what now?"
It took about six months of coaching Lisa every week. Six months of self-doubt and secret prayers. Six months of running to Paul, trying to earn what had already been given.
And then one day, mid-session—it clicked.
I knew.
Not from my brain. Not from training. I knew what to say. What to ask.
Because I wasn't the one saying it. I wasn't the one doing it. Source was moving through me.
The divine download hadn't just been a moment. It was still happening. It is still happening.
That's when I stopped asking Paul. That's when I started trusting the voice inside me. That's when I realized: this is how to trust your spiritual calling.
The Birth of Fearless Living
But you already know the end of the story. Eventually, I surrendered, and since the day I finally, with much fear in my heart, said yes, I have shared the download I received from the pages inside that book.
I could sum up all the pages by saying: "There's nothing wrong with you, it's just fear."
What would eventually be named the "Fearless Living Institute" officially began when I worked with my first client on August 15, 1995.
Can you believe it? This baby, my work, God's work through me, called Fearless Living has been around since 1995—nearly thirty years of helping people see that they're not broken, just brilliantly protected.
What I Stand For Now
Now when I coach, I know I stand for your soul until you can.
Until you can hear your own voice.
Until you can speak your own truth.
Until you can walk with your own knowing.
I speak the words your soul is trying to say. Until you remember how to listen.
This divine calling experience became the spiritual foundation of everything I teach. The Wheel of Fear and Wheel of Freedom framework grew directly from this download—and I'm still receiving guidance on how to help you step into your own calling.
Your Call Is Waiting
Here's what I want to know: What call have you been ignoring? What whisper have you been talking yourself out of? What spiritual guidance have you dismissed as "just your imagination"?
Because the only difference between you and me is—I acted on it. Eventually.
How to trust your spiritual calling starts with one simple step: Stop waiting for permission to be who your soul already knows you are.
If you've had a moment like that—a whisper, a vision, a knowing—don't ignore it. Don't run from it. Don't try to logic it away.
Instead... Sit with it. Ask what it wants from you. And when you're ready—say yes.
Because maybe the ceiling opened for a reason. And maybe... you got the call.
What are you waiting for?
Fearless Living, Fearless You, and the Fearless Living Life Coach Certification Program wouldn't be anything without brave souls like you who are willing to answer their call. Thank you for being on this journey with me.
