Four years ago I made a commitment that I would not date just for the sake of dating but date with meaning, with purpose, with my values leading the way. In the past four years, I have dated three men…until now!
Number four has entered my life and I am definitely in like-a-lot!
As always, I remind myself that this isn’t about falling in love, it is about practicing being true to myself in every conversation, every interaction. It isn’t easy, even for me, to be authentic, vulnerable and present when tough questions are being asked or the topic gets super sensitive. I, too, get scared.
But that is where the work is. That is where my heart lives. That is where I find out how committed I am and to what. To me, living as my heart is living on the edge. Because I don’t know where this will go. I don’t know how I will feel three months from now let alone a week from now. So I take a breath and remind myself that it isn’t about results, it is about the process, the process of discovering me in relationships and, hopefully, becoming a better me along the way.
Right now we have been dating for less than a month (yes, the giddy stage) and with each conversation I feel more connected. Not only to him, but to me. And that is the true benefit. As I connect to myself and live in the present I know I will automatically feel more love in my life not just from him, but from everybody.
Giving myself permission to share myself with another with no hesitation, no restrictions, no rules is opening my heart like never before. Yes, I hope some day I will feel deeply loved by a man I am in love with but for right now, just to feel loved by those around me is a gift.
I think I am finally getting the hang of this love stuff.