Do you have a dream for your life? Are you imagining and working towards the dream life you want to live? Or are you someone who hasn’t thought about their dreams in a long time?
If it’s been a long time, you’re not alone. In fact, only 8% of us fulfill our dreams because too many of us put our dreams on the back burner. We put our dreams under the guise of “being too busy” or we shrug them off because we’re secretly afraid of failing or being rejected.
So, here’s the deal: leaving your dreams by the wayside won’t magically stop any time soon unless you decide to pick up your dream and take a different action. It’s all in your power. (Isn’t that cool?)
Truth: All manifested dreams start with taking one action. And action needs intention.
When you’re not living with intention—focused on what you want and where you want to go—life will continue to push you around and your dreams will seem further and further away.
But it doesn’t have to stay that way. Let me ask you: if you had all the courage in the world coupled with all the support, money, and time, how would your life be different?
Go on. Tell me.
Now, let me ask it another way: if you weren’t feeling stuck or stagnant, how would you like your life to be different?
Let those questions mull around your heart a bit. Allow yourself to daydream the seemingly impossible. That’s an essential step to allowing that seed of a dream to come forth.
Imagine what could happen if you allowed that seemingly impossible dream to become possible, at least in your mind, for five minutes. Sure, you may not know how to make your dream a reality yet—that’s what makes it a dream. Yet giving yourself the gift of five minutes to wonder what your dream life might be like may be the very thing that gives you the courage to take a step toward your dream.
Go ahead, ask yourself: What would it take to wake up fulfilled and satisfied to be you? What would it be like to be in the driver’s seat again, leading your life with purpose and intention?
Good work allowing yourself to simply wonder what your dream life could look like, feel like, and be like.
Hi, Rhonda Britten here. 👋🏻 Thanks for joining me for another vital topic. In a previous article, we covered the importance of dreams and how to believe in them. If you haven’t already, check out that article too: How to Believe in Your Dreams (Because You’re the Only One Who Can).
Today, we’re going to dig a little deeper and discuss how you can begin living your dream life. Let’s start by getting a better understanding of what a dream life actually looks like. Hint: living your dream life is not as far-fetched or as complicated as you may believe.
What is a Dream Life: What Does That Even Look Like?
What would your dream life look like? Are you able to picture it? For many of us, the idea of a dream life feels so far away and near impossible that we don’t even bother trying to imagine it.
You might not allow yourself to even consider the possibility of living the life your soul intended™ because doing so can feel scary. On one hand, it can open you up to feelings of excitement for your future, but on the other hand, it can bring up feelings of regret about your past.
Too many of us think that dreaming was for a younger version of ourselves or that imagining a dream life is for those who don’t understand the “real” world.
When I was younger, I had a very different idea of my ideal life. I thought my dream life included a successful career as an actor and singer, a huge house that I bought with my gorgeous husband, and enough money to support a dozen children. (Yes, I wanted a dozen little ones.)
Needless to say, my dreams have evolved quite a bit since I was younger. And even though they have changed, it doesn’t mean that those remnants of my faded dreams don’t still live within me. (I’d still like that gorgeous husband.)
So yes, it’s normal for my past dreams to visit me once in a while in my current life. Like the faded scent of your favorite perfume, your past dreams may be right there waiting for you to either grab them back and start pursuing them or as a fond memory.
Mine sometimes pop up while I’m watching a movie or talking to a friend. It doesn’t mean it’s a “sign” that I have to achieve those past dreams. Some dreams are meant to be what I call “starter dreams;” dreams that begin a journey but may lead you to have a different dream altogether.
I’m now living my dream life (or pretty close to it) even though, at the present time, I’m not living any of my “starter dreams.” It took me a very long time to realize that building my dream life was more about how I felt on the inside—about myself, my choices, my values—than external factors, like the size of my house, the looks of a partner, and whether or not I was a famous movie star. As I grew in maturity and fearlessness, those external factors started to mean less once I realized my joy started and ended with respecting—and honoring—my heart and mind.
You see—you and I could have all of our dreams come true. We could “have it all,” as they say, but still be miserable if we haven’t done the internal work needed to face our fears, love ourselves, and find fulfillment in what we do, whatever that is.
Living your dream life is more than getting every single thing you ever wanted or having your fantasies become reality. It’s much deeper and more expansive than that.
And that’s good news. The fact that your dream life starts from within means your dream life is completely within your own grasp. No matter where you are today, whether you’re feeling uninspired, stuck, or crippled by fear (like I was for so long), there are clear steps you can take toward designing, and then living, your dream life!
Do you want to live your dream life? If that answer is yes, let’s talk about what it takes to live your dream life, including a few misconceptions around living out your dreams.
Dreams Are Attainable
A version of your dream life is absolutely attainable. But first, let’s get one thing straight: living your dream life doesn’t mean you have to “achieve” anything, such as becoming a famous movie star, being the CEO of your own million-dollar company, marrying Prince Charming, or living in a castle in Spain.
Now, I’m not saying achieving isn’t worthwhile; it can be exciting and gratifying. But you and I are both old enough to know that the high of achieving doesn’t last long when it stems from trying to “prove” yourself or “fix” yourself or “run away” from yourself. You’ll never feel like you’re living your dream life that way even if you did achieve all you were striving for. Ever hear about a miserable lottery winner? Exactly.
When you look at your life from an empowered perspective, lead with compassion toward yourself and others, and ensure your personal needs are met, you’ll find all the pieces fall into place. You’ll be living your dream life, even if it’s not that magical movie star life you dreamed of when you were a kid. Because you’ll be happy in your own skin, respecting yourself and your decisions, and honored to be living the life you have, no matter what it entails.
Now, before I say another thing, I must discuss the difference between fantasies and dreams. Too many of us get confused between the two and ruthlessly beat ourselves up for not achieving what we call a dream, but in reality, it’s a fantasy.
Fantasies, all too often, feel completely out of our grasp. They feel impossible, unattainable, even silly. Not because we don’t want our fantasies or that they can’t come true, because they can. But fantasies stay fantasies because we aren’t willing to become the person we need to be to turn that fantasy into reality.
Or we keep what we secretly want a fantasy because the fantasy isn’t, in our estimation, worth the effort or lifestyle change. Or they’re too different from what we’re used to, so we don’t even begin to reach for them. What do I mean by fantasies?
When I was growing up, there was nothing I wanted more than to be the next Lucille Ball or Carol Burnett. Both women were trailblazing comedic actresses and super-duper famous.
I believed if my fantasy came true, becoming the next Lucille Ball, I would finally feel loved, have loads of cash, and be someone people valued and admired. In other words, I would matter. I was convinced this would heal me from witnessing my parents’ horrific deaths and finally prove my father was wrong about me (he didn’t like me very much).
What made it a fantasy rather than a dream?
First, I didn’t pursue it. I didn’t even try to figure out how to make it happen. It was “that would be nice but…” You know the “It would be nice but” feeling, don’t you?
For many people, fantasies include moving to another country, quitting their job this second, or it could be as simple as “I’m gonna say no to my family from now on.” For some people, those actions feel impossible or, in other words, a fantasy.
Second, fantasies can have a tinge of make-believe. For instance, there was a part of me that really did want to make people laugh for a living. But if I was being honest with myself, I wanted to be famous to escape my life—to escape the small town I grew up in, to escape what seemed to be my fate.
I can look back at that fantasy with so much clarity now. I wanted so desperately to be different from who I was. I thought if that fantasy came true, my life would be okay. I would be okay. But what I didn’t know back then—I was already okay.
There’s nothing wrong with having a fantasy, as long as it doesn’t fool you into believing that if you don’t achieve it there’s something wrong with you.
Dreams, on the other hand, can be big (like being a famous comic), but they are something you have the ability and desire to work towards. Don’t let a fantasy trick you into believing none of your dreams can come true. Dreams are something you can work on and build steadily. Living your dream life is within your grasp, just so long as you are willing and open to pursuing it.
If you now realize you have fantasies and not dreams, I invite you to label them accurately as fantasies and begin to enjoy their mythical quality. Instead of holding onto fantasies, embrace the dream life that’s before you. Because anyone can live their dream life, you just have to decide to.
Dreams Need Fuel
Far too often, where our dreams are concerned, we become passengers instead of drivers. We have dreams—we may even think about them often—but we don’t put any effort into pursuing them. We fall into a cycle of believing our dreams can’t come true because day-by-day, they aren’t coming true. And as we continually sit by noticing that our dreams aren’t becoming a reality, we get disheartened and put even less focus on them… until they’re not even in the picture anymore.
Truth: Dreams need work—they require fuel, and not just once, but each and every day. That fuel can look like hard work or being in the flow or moving forward a bit each day, but that’s not all. Dreams require your passion, drive, joy, and excitement! And what’s great about dreams is that’s exactly what they give in return. When you devote some passion to your dream life, you will feel more passion. It’s the same with drive, joy, and excitement: give and you will receive.
So let’s get you back in the driver’s seat. As we always say at Fearless Living, be willing.
Willing to show up for yourself.
Willing to take one action.
Willing to give your dreams a chance at becoming a reality.
I can tell you over and over and over again that your dreams can become a reality, but no advice, guidance, or strategies will do you any good until you make the choice to be willing.
Dreams Come in All Shapes and Sizes
As we talked about earlier, living your dream life isn’t necessarily about becoming a movie star, making millions, or living in a castle in Spain. You can begin living your dream life now without any of those external things once you understand your own personal needs.
What do you need to be happy? What do you need to be fulfilled? What does your ideal life look like? What’s most important to you?
Now when I bring this up to students inside my community called Fearless You, the first time they hear about needs, they automatically jump to thinking about things that other people need. What do your children need? What do your parents need? What does your spouse need? But, just like I tell them, as you go through this exercise, it’s important to take them out of the equation (just for a few minutes).
This is about YOU. What do YOU need from life to feel fulfilled? Or look at it the other way: What do you need less of in your life? What drives you up the wall when you don’t get it? What do you no longer want to tolerate?
Maybe one of your personal needs is trust. So anytime your partner bends the truth or your friends tell a white lie, you absolutely lose it.
Maybe one of your personal needs is harmony. So when your siblings begin to bicker yet again or your co-workers just can’t see eye-to-eye, you become completely drained and exhausted.
Common personal needs include (but are not limited to):
- Financial stability
Living your dream life is often as simple as determining what your own personal needs are and ensuring they are continually met. Honoring your needs is essential for self-respect, because once you claim what your needs are, you can make changes to your life and lifestyle that reflect those needs. And you can be clear to those around you, especially those you love, about what your needs are and how important they are to you.
Of course, this is no small feat. But it’s vital if you’re dying to live your dream life. And frankly, it’s more satisfying over the long-term than becoming the next Beyoncé, marrying into the royal family, or purchasing a $10 million mansion, even though all of those might be exciting and fun.
Creating a strong foundation by identifying your needs allows you to achieve more than you ever thought possible because you will see yourself differently than you do now. That newfound self-respect, which comes from honoring your needs, breeds a willingness to use your voice, uncover clarity of purpose, and have the confidence to achieve your dream life.
Dreams change, grow, and evolve, and that’s completely okay (and quite normal!) What you wanted and imagined for yourself when you were younger, or even last week, likely isn’t the same as what you want for yourself now. (Remember the previous term I described: “starter dream.”)
A changed or evolved dream does not mean you have failed or given up on your past self. In fact, it shows growth and self-awareness to be able to admit that you want something different from your life now.
When I was younger, I didn’t even know what life coaching was, let alone know that it was the path that would lead me to my dream life. Back then, my biggest desire was to be a famous actress with a drop-dead gorgeous husband by my side as well as a dozen perfect children. Dreams change. 🙈
I now know that none of those things would’ve made me happy or brought me fulfillment unless I had done the internal work to appreciate, enjoy, and honor each moment. It took a long time for me to realize that my so-called dream didn’t at all consider what I actually wanted from life or what my needs were.
Allowing your dreams to change and evolve as you grow and learn more about yourself is healthy. It shows resilience and self-awareness, and it allows your dreams to be within your grasp.
Please, please, please keep on dreaming. Update your dreams to suit your needs and who you are now, and never stop dreaming.
Begin Living Your Dream Life
The key to living your dream life is this one little word: “Willing.”
Be willing to show up for yourself.
Be willing to lead with compassion.
Be willing to embrace change.
Be willing to do what you can the best you can when you can. (That’s one of my favorite phrases and words to live by! 😊)
At Fearless Living, we dig deep to tackle and understand the one thing that’s really holding us back from living our dream life—FEAR.
We don’t run from fear. We don’t hide from fear. We don’t try to fight fear. We face it, embrace it, and befriend it as part of who we are. We don’t let it run our lives.
Are you ready to start designing your dream future? It’s not all fantasies and fairy tales. A few small changes and some ah-ha moments can mean a world of difference. Don’t get me wrong—it’s hard work looking inward, naming your fears for what they are, and showing up for yourself every day, but it’s completely within your grasp.
Getting started is only a click away. When you become a member of Fearless You, you can break free of your fears at your own pace and fast-track your dream life. It’s based on decades of learning how to crack the secret code to fear, and it contains all of my most powerful guided training, as well as a supportive community of like-minded humans.
It’s time to put your dreams into focus again and begin living the life your soul intended™.
If you enjoyed this article, there’s plenty more where this came from. We’re continuously adding to the free Fearless Living blog each week, and there is a back catalog of some of my favorite topics, including: