I’m taking a deep breath right now as I face and embrace my next birthday.
On December 1st I will be 45 years old. Young to some, over-the-hill to others. To me, I am exactly where I am supposed to be if I am going to learn to live my life with more grace, more ease and more love.
As we all know, that’s easier said than done.
Because if I think about 45 years old long enough…I feel just darn right old. It happens when I start comparing myself to others…when the dreaded “should” word enters my brain I feel behind, below and not enough. “I should be in love by now…” or “I should own a house already…..” or a plethora of other “shoulds” could easily turn my birthday celebration into a day of mourning. But that isn’t going to happen this year….not if I can help it.
This year I’m going to decide to see 45 years old as 45 years of acknowledgments, gratitudes and love. 45 years of change, of courage or commitment. 45 years of learning to be a better person no matter how I feel or look.
On my birthday I am going to sit down and list 45 things I am thrilled to be right now. Not have, but be. They are bubbling up now…like:
1. I am proud of myself for the passion I bring to life.
2. I am proud of myself for learning to forgive the unforgivable.
3. I am proud of myself for loving even when I am afraid.
4. I am proud of myself for finally learning to speak my mind in the face of rejection.
5. I am proud of myself for healing the wounds of my family and bringing us together.
5 down, 40 to go…this year I am not scared to claim my worth because after 45 years of working on myself, I can finally say that I actually, truly like myself.
What a change from just a few years ago. What a gift! Actually, it’s the perfect birthday gift!
Well, then let the celebration begin……Happy Birthday to me!