There is nothing that I wouldn't give to be more and more fearless. Last night proved a perfect place to practice. I have been dating someone new. Let's call him Mr. Alabama.
Mr. Alabama is wholly different than me. I am a self-made woman who is determined to face herself each and every day. He's a Marine jet fighter pilot - I know!!! I know!!! All the rumors are true - who is used to taking orders, giving a few himself and following the rules. I am aware, as best as I am able, when I am in my stuff. I lay claim to it and call myself out. Or at least I thought I did.
We, that's Mr. Alabama and me, were discussing politics and I was saying how open I am to another's opinion when he shared his own. I didn't agree with it. I rolled my eyes (so bad according to John Gottman) and pursed my lips and sat silent waiting for him to get off his high horse and get down to earth.
Well, well. He called me out. Yes, he absolutely did. He told me I was the one being judgmental. And after I protested by saying once again how anyone has the right to their beliefs he pointed out how rolling my eyes isn't exactly open-minded. DRAT!
Oh, who needs some guy calling me on my stuff? Drat-it-all. It's not the first time he has called me out and I doubt it will be the last time. Last night he was disappointed and I didn't want him to be disappointed. And, in my humble coaching opinion, he shouldn't be disappointed. (I know. Shame on me.) He stomped around his house muttering, "I have a right to my feelings." Darn it all, he does. But who told him that?
Opps. That was me.
Mr. Alabama and I are super clear that this relationship might not last longer than a plate of ribs at an Alabama football game. (That's southern speak. Remember he's MR. ALABAMA. And yes, he does have that cute southern accent and he uses all those cute southern expressions that either have me laughing or saying WHAT?!) Oh and he's waaay younger than me which is so wonderful for so many reasons. Cougars unite!
Where was I? Oh yes. We got together when we both were going through our own version of 'love sucks' and now, I am feeling more of my ol' ie. better self and he is too. As I've said to him and my therapist and my best friend and my coach...we get along great when we are miserable but I am not sure if we will still get along great when we are doing great. I am sure we will find out soon enough.
And so will you. 🙂
Here's to mended hearts and loves lessons. Here's to trying again and again and again. Not the same way. Not as the same person. But always trying for your heart's sake, your life's path, your soul's expression. This is your life. This is my life. Let's love it enough so we feel loved up through our own self-care, our own self-healing, our own self-loving acts. And yes, let's take the love around us and soak ourselves in it so we remember, always remember, we are worth loving.