Do you feel stuck? Do you feel trapped? Do you feel unhappy in your relationship? Do you feel like you’re in the wrong relationship? Feeling stuck in a relationship can hold you back in far more ways than you may realize.
You may not even know your relationships are causing you to feel stuck because you’ve been following the same patterns for such a long time. What does it mean to feel stuck in a relationship? Well, are your needs being met, and are you getting value out of the relationship?
Ask yourself these questions:
Do you feel valued in your relationship?
Do you feel happier after seeing your partner?
Do you feel supported in all of your dreams and endeavors?
Do you spend quality time together?
Does your partner make you feel like the best version of yourself?
Does your partner take interest in your interests?
Does your partner ask you questions about yourself?
No relationship is perfect, but at the very least, your relationships should make you feel better, not worse, and they shouldn’t hold you back from living the life your soul intended.™
Here, and in other sections of this article, I focus on romantic partnerships, but all of the tips and strategies I am going to share can be applied to any relationship. You might feel stuck in a friendship that isn’t working anymore, and many, many people feel stuck in familial relationships, even when those relationships are toxic.
Feeling trapped is fear’s handiwork. Fear makes us think that we have no choice but to continue in the same relationships and on the same path. Fear keeps us stuck where we are, even when there’s a clear and better path forward.
So, how do you get unstuck in a relationship? Today, I’m sharing seven strategies that will help you get unstuck in your relationships. These tips will either help you build on and improve your current relationship or help you move on from the toxic relationships that, unfortunately, can't be fixed.
What to Do When You're Feeling Stuck in a Relationship
1. Take a Step Back From the Situation
When we’re in the thick of things, it’s pretty darn tough to look at a situation and evaluate it objectively. This is true of any situation, and it’s doubly, quadruply, exponentially true when we feel stuck in a relationship. Our relationships are emotional powder kegs, and this can work both for us and against us.
So, in order to take a birdseye, objective view of your relationship, I encourage you to take a step back. Reflect on your relationship from a neutral point of view. For a few private moments, don’t allow your emotions to cloud your perspective or judgment. Why do you feel stuck in your relationship? What is preventing you from moving forward? What, precisely, is causing you to feel stagnant or uninspired?
It could be that you’re unhappy with the way your partner treats you, your needs might not be being met, or you may feel like you haven’t matured or evolved or learned anything in a long time. You may feel like your partner is holding you back from experiencing new things or making progress on your own self-development.
It could be any or all of these things, but you won’t know until you take time to reflect on your feelings. Take some time by yourself to process your feelings and trace them back to their source. If you find this task difficult, try this: Consider how you would feel if one of your loved ones came to you and described the same problems happening in their relationship. Would you want them to stand up for themselves? Would you encourage them to make changes? Would you suggest they end the relationship?
2. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Don’t only express your true feelings to yourself; communicate openly and honestly with the other person in the relationship.
I know—it’s so much easier to push our feelings down and try to ignore them. “Get out of the way, you pesky feelings; I’m trying to live my life!” But our feelings are there to let us know when something is working and when something isn’t.
Open, honest communication is vital to any healthy relationship, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. And when we feel stuck in a rut, this kind of communication becomes all the more difficult because it’s easier to avoid bringing up the issues that are causing friction. It’s so much easier to turn on a sitcom or reality television show and share a laugh about everyone else’s issues. “Look at them expressing their emotions and being vulnerable. Aren’t they so silly and immature? Why haven’t they learned to bottle up their emotions like us?”
But staying stuck in a relationship is usually because of decisions like those—choosing to sit in front of the television or behind a book instead of expressing your true feelings, concerns, and needs. Keeping yourself guarded and pretending your vulnerability doesn’t exist will keep you stuck.
So I encourage you to make an effort to be vulnerable. Be honest. Share how you’re feeling. The health of your relationship depends on it. Tell your partner what your needs are. What do you need from your relationship that you’re not getting?
I know what you’re probably thinking. “Rhonda, we’ve been in a relationship for years. How do they not already know what my needs are? Haven’t they figured it out yet? How much longer is it going to take?”
I know exactly how you feel because I was where you are. I had that exact same thought process. I didn’t know how to express my needs. Heck, I barely even understood what my own needs were! I thought my partner should just know what I needed. Isn’t that what a healthy relationship is? Someone coming into your life who understands you implicitly and gets you what you need to be happy?
But, as you may have figured out, that’s not quite the way it works. It’s unfair to the other person in the relationship to expect them to simply understand everything that’s in your mind, heart, and soul without being told.
Getting your needs met is essential to your health and wellbeing, and it’s essential to the health of your relationship. If you’re not ensuring your needs are being met, your relationship will suffer. So, how do you get your needs met?
You guessed it: It all starts with communicating openly and honestly with the other person in the relationship.
I know this can make us feel vulnerable, and I know being vulnerable is scary. You may, like so many of us out there, even feel that being vulnerable is being weak. But that’s fear talking. Fear doesn’t want your needs to be met. Fear wants you to be stuck.
Being vulnerable is actually being brave; you’re showing your strength. You’re not shying away from the challenge. Speaking up and being honest and open means you’re rising to the occasion and taking your power back. Instead of riding in the back of the bus and wondering if the bus driver will remember your stop, you’re stepping into the driver’s seat.
3. Ask Yourself: Are You Adding to the Issues?
It’s easy to blame the other person for the relationship’s issues. But remember—it takes two to tango. Are you adding to the problems? What do you do that makes the situation worse? When was the last time you fulfilled your partner’s needs? Do you know what their needs are? Have you ever asked?
You are the other half of the relationship, and it’s important to own this fact. Take some time to yourself and deeply consider how you treat people.
Your needs and your personal boundaries are so, so, SO important. But they’re no more important than the needs of the other person. Are you neglecting their needs? Are you crossing their boundaries?
Do you regularly criticize your partner in front of their friends or family? How often do you criticize them in private? Do you dismiss your son’s dream of being a musician simply because it looks different than the future you planned for him? Do you automatically shut out your sister from making the Christmas turkey because she undercooked it 10 years ago? How often do you complain to your partner about this, that, or the other thing? Are you really listening when they speak? Do you ever lie to your partner?
It’s natural to have different needs and wants in a relationship; after all, you’re not the same person. You’re two individuals who (hopefully!) love and respect each other and who have come together to bring a little happiness and support into each other’s lives. You each have separate needs, but when we feel stuck, it’s very easy to forget about the other person’s needs and only focus on our own perspective.
How can you find common ground? Are you making the situation worse? Are you the toxic one in the relationship? In order to get unstuck, you must remember to put aside your ego and consider your own toxic actions and behavior.
4. Prioritize Self-Love and Self-Care
Yes, I encourage you to take a deep look at yourself and consider how you’re negatively contributing to your relationship, but I am not suggesting you sit in your feelings of guilt, believing yourself to be a “bad person” because you’ve made mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. Your partner makes them. And heck, you better believe I’ve made my fair share of blunders too! 🙋♀️
Do not punish yourself, and do not take all of the blame. There’s plenty to go around! We’re not playing the blame game—we’re focusing on self-improvement, and you can’t improve without self-love and self-care.
You must, must, MUST take care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself first, you can’t hope to effectively take care of anyone else. Is it possible you feel stuck because you’re always participating in activities or eating food or watching movies your partner likes, but you don’t? How often do you spend time doing the things you like to do? How often do you spend time alone doing whatever you want to do?
Whether you want to continue in the relationship or not, you must prioritize self-love and taking time for yourself. Make time to do the things that make you happy. Focusing on your own self-care is not selfish—it’s absolutely necessary for your emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health.
Can’t think of a self-care activity? Here are a few examples of what you can do:
Read a book under a blanket with some tea and honey
Tend a garden
Treat yourself to a mani, pedi, or facial
Sleep on your favorite sheets
Meditate
Try yoga
Exercise
Write in your journal and keep a diary
Work on an art project
Have a hot bath surrounded by lots of bubbles and scented candles
Go for a walk and pay attention to your surroundings
Watch the birds outside your window
Cook your favorite meal
Do anything that makes you feel HAPPY and HEALTHY!
“Acts of self-care are acts of self-love.” - Rhonda Britten
You must show yourself compassion, and taking time for yourself to do the things that bring you joy is doing just that. A loving, honest, evolving relationship will always be out of reach if you do not first prioritize self-love. You have to love yourself before you are truly able to accept anyone else’s love. It took me a very long time to realize this!
It’s very possible you feel stuck because you aren’t making time for acts of self-care and self-love. While it may feel like you don’t have time in your schedule to prioritize these things, remember that you’re in the driver’s seat. This is your car—this is YOUR LIFE. Only you can control your own life. This brings us to my next point!
5. Focus on What You Can Control
While it’s easy to blame your feelings of stuckness on your partner, here’s the truth: You are responsible for your own happiness.
We often get so caught up in what we can't control that we forget about the things we do have control over. But at the end of the day, no matter how stuck you might feel in your relationship, there is plenty within your control.
You can’t control what the other person in the relationship does. You can’t control what the other person says. BUT you can control your actions. You can control what you say. You can control whether or not you express your needs. And you can control whether or not you stay in a relationship if you realize it has become toxic or one-sided.
Your partner is not in control of your happiness or whether or not you feel stuck. There are so many aspects of your life and relationships that are within your control to change, evolve, and improve. Small steps toward living fearlessly can make a huge difference to the quality of your life. You have control over understanding your own needs. You have control over ensuring you practice self-care. You have control over your own self-love and self-trust.
I bet once you begin taking care of all of those things that are within your control, you won’t feel quite so stuck anymore. A huge part of feeling stuck is feeling powerless. You don’t know the next steps you should take. By recognizing what is and what isn’t in your control, you can begin to take thoughtful, effective steps forward—and get unstuck!
6. Surround Yourself With Support
A strong support network is vital when you’re going through difficult times. Unfortunately, we can often withdraw from our social circle when we feel stuck and unhappy in our relationship. You may fear being judged, you may fear being perceived as a failure, or you may want to avoid being a burden, but it’s during these challenging times that it’s most important to lean on your trusted friends and family members. They are an invaluable source of emotional support. You would be there for your friends and family members if they needed you; allow them to be there for you too.
The Fearless Living community can be just what you need when you are feeling stuck. Fearless Living is filled with like-minded people who have been right where you are. They can lend an ear if you need to vent, share their own stories, or simply tell you everything is going to be okay. Because it absolutely will. You will make it through this, and you will be even stronger and more fearless for it.
Fear is terrible at giving advice; don’t let fear keep you from speaking to the people you trust about what’s really going on. Reach out to your friends, family, or community to ask for their advice and support as you figure out the next steps to take in your relationship.
7. It May Be Time to Leave a Toxic Relationship
Not every relationship is destined to work out. Ask yourself, how often does the other person complain, not just about you, but about anything and everything? How often do they criticize you and put you down? Do they ever ask you about yourself and how you’re doing? Do you feel better after interacting with them or worse? How often do they ask for or demand things you’ve made it clear you’re not comfortable with? Have you experienced emotional abuse, physical abuse, or domestic violence of any kind?
If you said yes to any of the above, it’s a clear sign your relationship is toxic. Learn more from my guide: How to Move on From a Toxic Relationship (And How to Recognize One). I break down the differences between healthy and unhappy relationships and share what you can do to break free from the toxic relationships in your life.
Domestic abuse is never okay. While it is sometimes possible to fix a toxic relationship, it’s very rare, and too many people get stuck trying to fix the unfixable. We want to believe we have control over every aspect of our life, but that’s simply not true. We only have control over our own actions. If your partner refuses to change, it’s time to move on.
While I know that’s a lot easier said than done, it doesn’t make it any less true. If your relationship is toxic, you must end it for your own wellbeing and personal safety. Leaving a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you well is not a failure; the real tragedy is staying with someone who doesn’t recognize, nurture, and celebrate all of the wonderfulness that makes you you. You are enough just as you are. If the person you’re in a relationship with can’t see that, that is their failure, not yours.
I said before that it takes two to tango. So, if your partner keeps missing all of the steps, stomping on your toes, and taking it out on you, it’s time to leave the dance floor and find a new dance! The same is true of the relationships you have with friends and family members. Toxic relationships of any kind hold you back, hinder your health, stop you from pursuing your dreams, and keep you from living the life your soul intended.™
Until you break free of your toxic relationships, there will always be something holding you back and pulling you back toward everything you fear most.
Get Your Relationship Unstuck With Fearless Living
Getting your relationship unstuck won’t happen overnight. It will take a lot of effort and dedication, as well as a commitment from both of you—but it is possible to fast-track your journey by joining a community of like-minded people at Fearless Living.
Fearless Living is a community of people just like you who are passionate about building strong, healthy relationships that are free from fear and toxicity. My Training Program is based on decades of learning how to crack the secret code to fear. With the Fearless Living program and Fearless You, an online database of dozens of courses, you’ll learn what to do if you feel trapped in a relationship, how to set clear boundaries, how to build your self-esteem and self-worth, and so much more.
Do you feel stuck? Do you feel trapped? Do you feel unhappy in your relationship? Do you feel like you’re in the wrong relationship? Feeling stuck in a relationship can hold you back in far more ways than you may realize.
You may not even know your relationships are causing you to feel stuck because you’ve been following the same patterns for such a long time. What does it mean to feel stuck in a relationship? Well, are your needs being met, and are you getting value out of the relationship?
Ask yourself these questions:
Do you feel valued in your relationship?
Do you feel happier after seeing your partner?
Do you feel supported in all of your dreams and endeavors?
Do you spend quality time together?
Does your partner make you feel like the best version of yourself?
Does your partner take interest in your interests?
Does your partner ask you questions about yourself?
No relationship is perfect, but at the very least, your relationships should make you feel better, not worse, and they shouldn’t hold you back from living the life your soul intended.™
Here, and in other sections of this article, I focus on romantic partnerships, but all of the tips and strategies I am going to share can be applied to any relationship. You might feel stuck in a friendship that isn’t working anymore, and many, many people feel stuck in familial relationships, even when those relationships are toxic.
Feeling trapped is fear’s handiwork. Fear makes us think that we have no choice but to continue in the same relationships and on the same path. Fear keeps us stuck where we are, even when there’s a clear and better path forward.
So, how do you get unstuck in a relationship? Today, I’m sharing seven strategies that will help you get unstuck in your relationships. These tips will either help you build on and improve your current relationship or help you move on from the toxic relationships that, unfortunately, can't be fixed.
What to Do When You're Feeling Stuck in a Relationship
1. Take a Step Back From the Situation
When we’re in the thick of things, it’s pretty darn tough to look at a situation and evaluate it objectively. This is true of any situation, and it’s doubly, quadruply, exponentially true when we feel stuck in a relationship. Our relationships are emotional powder kegs, and this can work both for us and against us.
So, in order to take a birdseye, objective view of your relationship, I encourage you to take a step back. Reflect on your relationship from a neutral point of view. For a few private moments, don’t allow your emotions to cloud your perspective or judgment. Why do you feel stuck in your relationship? What is preventing you from moving forward? What, precisely, is causing you to feel stagnant or uninspired?
It could be that you’re unhappy with the way your partner treats you, your needs might not be being met, or you may feel like you haven’t matured or evolved or learned anything in a long time. You may feel like your partner is holding you back from experiencing new things or making progress on your own self-development.
It could be any or all of these things, but you won’t know until you take time to reflect on your feelings. Take some time by yourself to process your feelings and trace them back to their source. If you find this task difficult, try this: Consider how you would feel if one of your loved ones came to you and described the same problems happening in their relationship. Would you want them to stand up for themselves? Would you encourage them to make changes? Would you suggest they end the relationship?
2. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Don’t only express your true feelings to yourself; communicate openly and honestly with the other person in the relationship.
I know—it’s so much easier to push our feelings down and try to ignore them. “Get out of the way, you pesky feelings; I’m trying to live my life!” But our feelings are there to let us know when something is working and when something isn’t.
Open, honest communication is vital to any healthy relationship, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. And when we feel stuck in a rut, this kind of communication becomes all the more difficult because it’s easier to avoid bringing up the issues that are causing friction. It’s so much easier to turn on a sitcom or reality television show and share a laugh about everyone else’s issues. “Look at them expressing their emotions and being vulnerable. Aren’t they so silly and immature? Why haven’t they learned to bottle up their emotions like us?”
But staying stuck in a relationship is usually because of decisions like those—choosing to sit in front of the television or behind a book instead of expressing your true feelings, concerns, and needs. Keeping yourself guarded and pretending your vulnerability doesn’t exist will keep you stuck.
So I encourage you to make an effort to be vulnerable. Be honest. Share how you’re feeling. The health of your relationship depends on it. Tell your partner what your needs are. What do you need from your relationship that you’re not getting?
I know what you’re probably thinking. “Rhonda, we’ve been in a relationship for years. How do they not already know what my needs are? Haven’t they figured it out yet? How much longer is it going to take?”
I know exactly how you feel because I was where you are. I had that exact same thought process. I didn’t know how to express my needs. Heck, I barely even understood what my own needs were! I thought my partner should just know what I needed. Isn’t that what a healthy relationship is? Someone coming into your life who understands you implicitly and gets you what you need to be happy?
But, as you may have figured out, that’s not quite the way it works. It’s unfair to the other person in the relationship to expect them to simply understand everything that’s in your mind, heart, and soul without being told.
Getting your needs met is essential to your health and wellbeing, and it’s essential to the health of your relationship. If you’re not ensuring your needs are being met, your relationship will suffer. So, how do you get your needs met?
You guessed it: It all starts with communicating openly and honestly with the other person in the relationship.
I know this can make us feel vulnerable, and I know being vulnerable is scary. You may, like so many of us out there, even feel that being vulnerable is being weak. But that’s fear talking. Fear doesn’t want your needs to be met. Fear wants you to be stuck.
Being vulnerable is actually being brave; you’re showing your strength. You’re not shying away from the challenge. Speaking up and being honest and open means you’re rising to the occasion and taking your power back. Instead of riding in the back of the bus and wondering if the bus driver will remember your stop, you’re stepping into the driver’s seat.
3. Ask Yourself: Are You Adding to the Issues?
It’s easy to blame the other person for the relationship’s issues. But remember—it takes two to tango. Are you adding to the problems? What do you do that makes the situation worse? When was the last time you fulfilled your partner’s needs? Do you know what their needs are? Have you ever asked?
You are the other half of the relationship, and it’s important to own this fact. Take some time to yourself and deeply consider how you treat people.
Your needs and your personal boundaries are so, so, SO important. But they’re no more important than the needs of the other person. Are you neglecting their needs? Are you crossing their boundaries?
Do you regularly criticize your partner in front of their friends or family? How often do you criticize them in private? Do you dismiss your son’s dream of being a musician simply because it looks different than the future you planned for him? Do you automatically shut out your sister from making the Christmas turkey because she undercooked it 10 years ago? How often do you complain to your partner about this, that, or the other thing? Are you really listening when they speak? Do you ever lie to your partner?
It’s natural to have different needs and wants in a relationship; after all, you’re not the same person. You’re two individuals who (hopefully!) love and respect each other and who have come together to bring a little happiness and support into each other’s lives. You each have separate needs, but when we feel stuck, it’s very easy to forget about the other person’s needs and only focus on our own perspective.
How can you find common ground? Are you making the situation worse? Are you the toxic one in the relationship? In order to get unstuck, you must remember to put aside your ego and consider your own toxic actions and behavior.
4. Prioritize Self-Love and Self-Care
Yes, I encourage you to take a deep look at yourself and consider how you’re negatively contributing to your relationship, but I am not suggesting you sit in your feelings of guilt, believing yourself to be a “bad person” because you’ve made mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. Your partner makes them. And heck, you better believe I’ve made my fair share of blunders too! 🙋♀️
Do not punish yourself, and do not take all of the blame. There’s plenty to go around! We’re not playing the blame game—we’re focusing on self-improvement, and you can’t improve without self-love and self-care.
You must, must, MUST take care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself first, you can’t hope to effectively take care of anyone else. Is it possible you feel stuck because you’re always participating in activities or eating food or watching movies your partner likes, but you don’t? How often do you spend time doing the things you like to do? How often do you spend time alone doing whatever you want to do?
Whether you want to continue in the relationship or not, you must prioritize self-love and taking time for yourself. Make time to do the things that make you happy. Focusing on your own self-care is not selfish—it’s absolutely necessary for your emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health.
Can’t think of a self-care activity? Here are a few examples of what you can do:
Read a book under a blanket with some tea and honey
Tend a garden
Treat yourself to a mani, pedi, or facial
Sleep on your favorite sheets
Meditate
Try yoga
Exercise
Write in your journal and keep a diary
Work on an art project
Have a hot bath surrounded by lots of bubbles and scented candles
Go for a walk and pay attention to your surroundings
Watch the birds outside your window
Cook your favorite meal
Do anything that makes you feel HAPPY and HEALTHY!
“Acts of self-care are acts of self-love.” - Rhonda Britten
You must show yourself compassion, and taking time for yourself to do the things that bring you joy is doing just that. A loving, honest, evolving relationship will always be out of reach if you do not first prioritize self-love. You have to love yourself before you are truly able to accept anyone else’s love. It took me a very long time to realize this!
It’s very possible you feel stuck because you aren’t making time for acts of self-care and self-love. While it may feel like you don’t have time in your schedule to prioritize these things, remember that you’re in the driver’s seat. This is your car—this is YOUR LIFE. Only you can control your own life. This brings us to my next point!
5. Focus on What You Can Control
While it’s easy to blame your feelings of stuckness on your partner, here’s the truth: You are responsible for your own happiness.
We often get so caught up in what we can't control that we forget about the things we do have control over. But at the end of the day, no matter how stuck you might feel in your relationship, there is plenty within your control.
You can’t control what the other person in the relationship does. You can’t control what the other person says. BUT you can control your actions. You can control what you say. You can control whether or not you express your needs. And you can control whether or not you stay in a relationship if you realize it has become toxic or one-sided.
Your partner is not in control of your happiness or whether or not you feel stuck. There are so many aspects of your life and relationships that are within your control to change, evolve, and improve. Small steps toward living fearlessly can make a huge difference to the quality of your life. You have control over understanding your own needs. You have control over ensuring you practice self-care. You have control over your own self-love and self-trust.
I bet once you begin taking care of all of those things that are within your control, you won’t feel quite so stuck anymore. A huge part of feeling stuck is feeling powerless. You don’t know the next steps you should take. By recognizing what is and what isn’t in your control, you can begin to take thoughtful, effective steps forward—and get unstuck!
6. Surround Yourself With Support
A strong support network is vital when you’re going through difficult times. Unfortunately, we can often withdraw from our social circle when we feel stuck and unhappy in our relationship. You may fear being judged, you may fear being perceived as a failure, or you may want to avoid being a burden, but it’s during these challenging times that it’s most important to lean on your trusted friends and family members. They are an invaluable source of emotional support. You would be there for your friends and family members if they needed you; allow them to be there for you too.
The Fearless Living community can be just what you need when you are feeling stuck. Fearless Living is filled with like-minded people who have been right where you are. They can lend an ear if you need to vent, share their own stories, or simply tell you everything is going to be okay. Because it absolutely will. You will make it through this, and you will be even stronger and more fearless for it.
Fear is terrible at giving advice; don’t let fear keep you from speaking to the people you trust about what’s really going on. Reach out to your friends, family, or community to ask for their advice and support as you figure out the next steps to take in your relationship.
7. It May Be Time to Leave a Toxic Relationship
Not every relationship is destined to work out. Ask yourself, how often does the other person complain, not just about you, but about anything and everything? How often do they criticize you and put you down? Do they ever ask you about yourself and how you’re doing? Do you feel better after interacting with them or worse? How often do they ask for or demand things you’ve made it clear you’re not comfortable with? Have you experienced emotional abuse, physical abuse, or domestic violence of any kind?
If you said yes to any of the above, it’s a clear sign your relationship is toxic. Learn more from my guide: How to Move on From a Toxic Relationship (And How to Recognize One). I break down the differences between healthy and unhappy relationships and share what you can do to break free from the toxic relationships in your life.
Domestic abuse is never okay. While it is sometimes possible to fix a toxic relationship, it’s very rare, and too many people get stuck trying to fix the unfixable. We want to believe we have control over every aspect of our life, but that’s simply not true. We only have control over our own actions. If your partner refuses to change, it’s time to move on.
While I know that’s a lot easier said than done, it doesn’t make it any less true. If your relationship is toxic, you must end it for your own wellbeing and personal safety. Leaving a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you well is not a failure; the real tragedy is staying with someone who doesn’t recognize, nurture, and celebrate all of the wonderfulness that makes you you. You are enough just as you are. If the person you’re in a relationship with can’t see that, that is their failure, not yours.
I said before that it takes two to tango. So, if your partner keeps missing all of the steps, stomping on your toes, and taking it out on you, it’s time to leave the dance floor and find a new dance! The same is true of the relationships you have with friends and family members. Toxic relationships of any kind hold you back, hinder your health, stop you from pursuing your dreams, and keep you from living the life your soul intended.™
Until you break free of your toxic relationships, there will always be something holding you back and pulling you back toward everything you fear most.
Get Your Relationship Unstuck With Fearless Living
Getting your relationship unstuck won’t happen overnight. It will take a lot of effort and dedication, as well as a commitment from both of you—but it is possible to fast-track your journey by joining a community of like-minded people at Fearless Living.
Fearless Living is a community of people just like you who are passionate about building strong, healthy relationships that are free from fear and toxicity. My Training Program is based on decades of learning how to crack the secret code to fear. With the Fearless Living program and Fearless You, an online database of dozens of courses, you’ll learn what to do if you feel trapped in a relationship, how to set clear boundaries, how to build your self-esteem and self-worth, and so much more.
It’s time to celebrate. You did it. Oh how good you’ll feel when you’ve practiced the 30 tools laid out for you in Change Your Life in 30 Days. You’ll feel more yourself than you’ve ever felt before. You’ll be more empowered and powerful knowing these tools are at your fingertips. Bottom line: your relationships will be filled with more love, your worth will skyrocket, your confidence will increase and your dreams will have wings. Your toolbox is full. Your mindset is fearless. Now, go on. Live your Fearless Life.
Day 29: Heaven
Take a breath. A nice deep one. We are going to talk about heaven together. Not the one with God sitting on a cloud, but the heaven that exists right where you are. The heaven tat shows up when we live by our commitments. In Day 29, I’ve created a commitment statement that will anchor you as you move forward in living more fearlessly. It will inspire you, and yes, even motivate you. More important, it will remind you who you really are. This is a favorite amongst my students.
Day 28: Beautiful You
Beautiful isn’t a word most people take on easily. They can call other people beautiful but when I ask them to think of themselves that way, they pause, get confused and may even blush. It’s okay. Owning your beauty isn’t something you were probably taught to do. I know I wasn’t. Day 28 is about your beauty within and without and owning it. By the way, you are beautiful and I can’t wait for you to know it. For real.
Day 27: Redefining You
You’ve been on this journey with me for 27 days. And in those 27 days you’ve changed. For the better. You’re more…how do I say it? More YOU! And it’s time to take a moment and reflect on who you are now. It’s time to redefine who you are and how you want to move forward. Take a breath. This is all good.
Day 26: Never Confront Again
Have you ever avoided having a difficult conversation? Me too. Until I learned this surprising simple mindset that eliminates confronting anyone ever again that I will share with you in Day 26. Plus, I’m going to give you a step-by-step script to show you what to do instead. Your new mindset along with the script will make any conversation you’ve been avoiding way easier. Soon, there will be no conversation too scary for you to have. It’s time to speak up.
Day 25: Forget Motivation
If I give you a hyped up pep speech, you might feel motivated. For a while. But I bet not long enough to get the job done. And that’s the problem with motivation created by an outside force. In Day 25, I’m going to show you what to focus on instead that will give you more long-term results and long-term contentment. Sounds nice, right?
Day 24: What’s Love Got To Do With It
Your yearnings and desires come from wanting to share more of who you are. Self love is what helps you do that by giving you the permission (and worth) to push past your fears and reach for your dreams. But often, it’s doesn’t feel okay to love yourself. It’s feels selfish or greedy. No more. In Day 24, you’ll get the permission you need to go after anything that you want because you’ll know how to love yourself (and you have a right to your dreams.)
Day 23: For or Against
Is the world for you or against you? I know you want to believe the world is for you yet, I bet, based on what you discover in Day 23, you’ll soon see how often you get tricked into believing, and reacting, as if the world is against you. When you feel like the world is against you, it becomes a world filled with lack and that’s no way to live. In Day 23, I will give you a tool that will give you eyes to see that the world is, indeed, for you.
Day 22: The Gift of Rejection
Rejection is hard to face. And it’s a part of life. Usually, it isn’t personal, even when it feels personal. On Day 22, I will be asking you to go beyond the normal surface experience and instead, see yourself through heart of your humanity. Yes. You are human. Yes. Things happen. And yes. You will be rejected. And it’s all good. It might be hard to see it now, but soon, being thankful for rejection will be effortless. Let me show you the tools to use to make this so.
Day 21: Luck, Fate and Destiny
I’m going to blow your mind on Day 21 because I’m asking you to give up luck. Yep. No more luck. On Day 21 I will tell you why and more important, what to do instead. This will give you such relief and make you feel so powerful. Success is within your grasp when you give up luck and embody the tools I share here.
Day 20: Momentum
Let’s keep the momentum going. In Day 20, you’ll revisit the last 10 days to give yourself credit for the hard work you’ve been doing plus, remind yourself of what’s ahead. Without momentum, we lose hope and lose our inspired action. When you have momentum, the bumps of life don’t seem so rough.
Day 19: Forgiveness
Is there a part of you stuck in the past? For over 20 years of my life, I couldn’t get past my past because I didn’t know how to forgive so I refused to. Have you refused to forgive someone in your past whose hurt you? Maybe that person is even yourself? If the past is running your present, you’ll create a future that looks a whole lot like the past. In Day 19, I will take you by the hand and show you how to forgive the past for good. There’s freedom here. I promise.
Day 18: Intuition
Do you know the difference between the voice of fear and the voice of your intuition? Not sure? Day 18 is going to make it crystal clear to you so you can take inspired action. When you know you’re guided by something larger than you, it’s easy to be motivated and trust yourself. The ability to follow your intuition is necessary for true happiness. You’ll find out how here.
Day 17: Excuses
Are you so good at making up excuses you’re confusing them with the facts? You’re not alone. Most people want to show me proof that their excuses are real. I let them. But after I share the tools in Day 17, you won’t want to because you’ll see that a fight for your excuses is a fight for a less than fearless life.
Day 16: The Myth of Balance
The search for balance has become epidemic and based on the amount of magazine articles and books written on the subject, we are failing miserably in our quest for the perfect balance. What if you could create the balance you need to achieve your biggest dreams? In Day 16, I’m going to ask you to give up your search for balance and instead, use this new tool to help you reach your goals.
Day 15: Trusting Heart
Do you ever feel like you can’t really trust the people around you? Has someone you love let you down? Has your heart been broken too many times? What would you say if I told you that trusting others isn’t about them at all but about trusting yourself? In Day 15, you’ll learn a whole new way to trust yourself, and others, so you can finally experience a deeper and more authentic intimacy with those that matter.
Day 14: Liar, Liar
Do you ever find yourself lying to make a situation better? Lying seems harmless enough, especially those little white lies. But those lies erode our self-respect and cause us to doubt ourselves. You might be surprised to learn that honesty isn’t always the answer to lying. Day 14 will give you a pathway out of lies and false honesty to create clear conversations that create more connection in all your relationships.
Day 13: The Power of Word
Do your words empower you or disempower you? Words are slippery and unless we become aware of what comes out of our mouths, more than we’d like, the words we use every day are ruining our chances for success. In Day 13, I will show you which words to eliminate and which words will boost your confidence.
Day 12: Ask for What You Want
What do you really want? No, really? It’s hard to ask for what you want from the person you want it from most, isn’t it? So much at stake. It’s scary to ask for something without any guarantee of satisfactory results. But it is necessary for you to be free. In Day 12, I will show you how to ask for what you want without feeling bad, selfish or guilty.
Day 11: Regrets
Regrets are deadly to our self-esteem, stifle our ability to act and keep us stuck in the past. Until we let go of our regrets, there is little hope for a different future. Day 11 is going to give you the tools to let regret go for good.
Day 10: Integration
It’s time to make sure you “got this.” Not just in theory but in practice. Integrating the tools each step of the way guarantees you can use them again and again now and forever. No matter what lies ahead these tools will be in your toolbox at the ready to set you free from any fear. I will put you through a drill to help you own that you’re doing better than you think you are.
Day 9: Shine Your Light
Have you ever secretly wished you could shout from the rafters: this is who I really am? But instead, did you find yourself putting your success down or unable to speak up when you most wanted to? Day 9 will show you how to give up judging yourself and learn how to shine your light. It’s integral to your ability to say YES to you!
Day 8: The Freedom of Discipline
When you use the power of discipline fueled by your true nature, it becomes an act of love. Let me show you the way to access a truer, more loving kind of discipline that will not make you rigid, strict or stuffy. When you access discipline because you want to, not because you have to, you’ll have more ease, grace and freedom.
Day 7: Are You Making It Up or Is It True?
Want more peace of mind? When I want to launch into full-on attack mode or shut myself down and hide or defend myself, this sentence brings me back to center and allows me to respond, instead of react. Your life is about to get a whole lot better.
Day 6: Stretch, Risk, or Die
Have you ever felt utterly stuck? It’s probably because you didn’t take into account the emotional toll it takes to break bad habits. (Logic alone isn’t enough.) My super secret tool guarantees that you will start taking action on the things that have felt insurmountable in the past. It’s easier than you think.
Day 5: Affirmations, Intentions, and Goals
Have you felt like a complete failure when it comes to affirmations? Me too. I’m going to show you why. Oh, and did you know that goals serve intentions, not the other way around? This is where most success gets sidetracked. I will show you when to use which tool and how to maximize your success.
Day 4: Purpose and Passion
Without purpose, passion can feel out of control and even, crazy. Without passion, purpose can seem dull and uninviting. Purpose and Passion must work hand-in-hand to light you up, inspire others and set your life on its Fearless Path. Day 4 will show you how.
Day 3: Building Your Confidence Muscle
Have you ever wanted more confidence? Day 3 will show you to own the confidence you have had in the past and how to create the confidence you need any time you need it. With confidence, all things are possible.
Day 2: Give Credit Where Credit is Due
Can you accept praise? If you have a hard time accepting compliments or giving yourself credit, Day 2 will give you a tool that will allow you to honor your hard work as well as allow you to receive love from others. (Wouldn’t that be nice.)
Day 1: A New Beginning
The truth is you can have it all. You can have the external things you crave while fulfilling your soul’s desires if you can answer ‘yes’ to these five questions.
From Fear to Freedom
Discover how fear is secretly sabotaging your success and happiness
