Have you been wondering about your soul’s purpose? What were you put on this big wide world to do? What is your true calling? How do you ignite your passion and find that beautiful inner light? What were you designed for? Or maybe you might ask, “what is my spiritual purpose?” if you’re a spiritual person looking to experience more of your higher self.
No matter how you say it, we’re all looking to feel fulfilled and satisfied. We want to have a purpose, and we want it to feel like our lives have a purpose, that we matter.
YOU absolutely have something you were designed to do. You have something that will click and make your whole life suddenly come into focus. The only problem is that finding out what that “thing” is takes time, commitment to yourself, and willingness.
What is a soul purpose?
Now, note that I am using the phrase ‘soul purpose’ and not ‘sole purpose.’ ‘Sole’ means single or solitary. The sole purpose of a screwdriver is to screw in screws. 🔩 The sole purpose of a diaper is to, well, you get the idea. 🙈
On the other hand, a human being’s ‘soul purpose,’ also known as your soul’s purpose, refers to the guiding light of your life. It’s where you find the most fulfillment. It’s what gets you out of bed in the morning before you even think about that delicious cup of hot, nourishing coffee. Your soul’s purpose is completely in line with your values, your needs, your spirit, and your aspirations, and once you discover your soul purpose, everything starts to click.
Discovering our soul purpose can help us to see things more clearly, to figure out our place in the world, and to understand the happy and traumatic events of our lives in a larger context.
Now I’m sure you’re asking, “Rhonda, just how can I reach my soul purpose?”
Great question! And perfect timing because that’s exactly what I’m going to get into right now!
How Do You Follow Your Soul Purpose?
1. Determine Your Own Needs
To follow your soul purpose, you first need to figure out what it is. Begin by reflecting on your own personal needs. Do you even know what they are? Are your own needs something you’ve put thought into before?
Don’t worry if you haven't. So, so, so many of us haven’t taken the time to focus on ourselves long enough to determine our own needs. We believe that being a good, thoughtful person means putting others' needs before our own.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth. The more you neglect your own needs, the more difficult it is for you to be there for those around you. You become strained, burnt out, and resentful because your needs (whatever they may be) are not being met. Ever snapped at one of your kids or a spouse out of nowhere because you were spread too thin?
Making sure your own needs are met is not being selfish—it’s being healthy.
YOUR NEEDS ARE IMPORTANT.
Say it with me, and say it about yourself.
My needs are important.
My needs are important.
My needs are important.
So, now that we got that out of the way, how do you figure out what your needs are anyway?
Everyone’s needs are different, and at the same time, so similar. What your needs are might come to you instantly or they may take a little more time to figure out. Think about what you need in order to be happy and fulfilled. When are you the most happy? When are you the most content? What things in life are most important to you?
On the other side of things, what makes you want to yell or pull your hair out if you don’t get it from other people? What exhausts you? What drives you absolutely bonkers?
Taking care of your needs is often a misunderstood concept, so if your arms are crossed right about now, you’re not alone. Just allowing yourself to think about your own needs can be challenging.
Figuring out my needs eluded me for decades. I thought I was so self-sufficient that I didn’t have needs. And worse, in the past, I was told “no one has needs, they only have wants,” so that squashed any desire to find my needs. So be patient with yourself.
Finding your needs, and then honoring them, will be a lifelong process—but you have to start somewhere.
Here are some common needs:
- Financial Stability
Once you know what your most important needs are, you can start to make sure they are being met. Do the important people in your life know what your needs are, and do they understand the importance of them? Relationships are always a two-way street. The people in your life must respect your needs, and you, in turn, must respect theirs in order to have a healthy relationship.
Understanding your own needs and making sure they are continually being met is the first step to finding your soul purpose.
2. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
Let’s talk about comparing yourself to other people. It’s a completely natural thing to do; in fact, it’s wired into our brains. And it’s something I’m guilty of too. 🙋🏼♀️
But, in nearly all situations, comparing yourself to others does more harm than good, and this is true of following your soul’s purpose.
Know that everyone’s soul purpose is different. Now, it’s one thing to know that and another thing to live it. It’s quite common for people to get caught up in someone else’s life purpose because they believe it must be theirs too. The closer you are with someone, the more likely this is to occur.
For example, let’s say your sister is an excellent writer and you’re not bad yourself. You come from a family of talented, published authors too. You’ve both been a little competitive about it throughout your life and you’ve learned from one another. She is pursuing a career as an author and loves it, so you naturally follow suit, only to realize years later that you enjoyed it when you were young, as a hobby, but you actually hate sitting down to write every day.
You despise your work, what was once fun isn’t anymore, and you don’t understand why you aren’t feeling more fulfilled. You feel guilty because you should be happy. You feel like you should be fulfilled. But “shoulds” are never good and they will never get you to happiness, and the truth is being an author was your sister’s soul purpose, not your own.
Similar examples come up for people time and time again. Whether it’s people close to us, acquaintances, or society in general, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. But your soul purpose is not a competition, and you don’t need to follow the same path as anyone else.
Just because a 9-to-5 office job makes sense for lots of people doesn’t mean it makes sense for you. And just because lots of people find freedom in unconventional career paths doesn’t mean you have to abandon the stability of a more traditional role.
Everyone is different, and that’s okay! It’s actually pretty great that we’re all so different. 🥳
When thinking about your own soul purpose, take everyone else out of the equation. You are not competing with them. You are only competing with yourself in your quest to be a more authentic, transparent, and loving you.
Ask yourself: How can you be better tomorrow and the day after? How can you continue to prioritize your own needs? How can you pave your own path? What’s the one dream you refuse to believe in? Hint: That may be a seed of your soul purpose.
3. Your Purpose Might Not Be Career-Focused
This next point is more important to some than others. If you’re super career-focused and passionate about your work, you may not need this reminder. But not all people find their soul purpose in their work. And that is completely okay!
Speaking of unconventional jobs filled with freedom and fulfillment: Have you ever considered becoming a Life Coach?
Your soul purpose may not be career oriented. Your purpose could be being a great mother or a phenomenal grandparent. Your soul purpose might be cooking or baking—but only when you do it freely and on your own terms. Your soul purpose might be being observant, taking in your surroundings, enjoying everything nature has to offer, and finding beauty in the simplest moments.
Careers and making money are not the only things that matter, but they are often mistaken for our one and only purpose in life.
Now, let’s take one step back. It’s okay for a job to be a plain old job. It can pay the bills while you enjoy all the rest that life has to offer. But—and this is a big BUT—be careful that that job is not a soul-sucking one. Don’t allow that job to take away all of your joy, happiness, and personal time, and watch to make sure your personal needs are being met and no personal boundaries are being crossed.
4. It’s a Continual Pursuit
Finding and pursuing your soul purpose is not a simple, one-time task. It’s a continual, ongoing pursuit, and there will always be ups and downs along the way. You won’t all of a sudden find it and ride off into the sunset forever. You’ll have to work at it and work at being your best self on an ongoing basis.
And here’s the cool part: when you click into your soul purpose, you want to be your best self because you know that will only help you fulfill your soul purpose. It creates a desire to risk and grow to be able to keep expanding what’s possible for your soul purpose and the impact you could make.
There’s a good chance you will change and adapt along the way. What you thought was your soul purpose as a child, teen, or young adult may be different as you get older and discover new passions.
Continually check in with yourself. Are you still on a path you want to be on, are you headed in an intentional direction, or are you running on cruise control? Are you living the life your soul intended?™ (or at least headed in that direction?)
And another thing—it’s okay if you don’t know right away. It’s okay if it takes you time to figure out what the right path is for you. It’s not a race; it’s a journey, and you will get there in your own time.
I had no idea my true calling and purpose in life was to be a Life Coach in my early 30’s. I could barely understand my own fears at the time. But I continued my journey and followed my soul’s path, which happened to be a heck of a lot of work. Yes—I’m looking at you, fear!
5. Finding Your Purpose Isn’t a Cure-All
Sometimes we mistake finding our true calling, direction in life, or soul purpose with complete and unwavering happiness. Well, folks, that non-stop happiness you think you found along with your soul purpose won’t always be there. It’s not a magical solution to all of your problems, and it certainly doesn’t mean everything will be sunshine and rainbows from here on out (just ask any working actor or artist!)
You are still going to have ups and downs. That’s okay. I definitely have “bad” days too. Yes, I am doing work I love. I am living the life my soul intended™. But I still have those “bad” days. I have fewer of them, and I’m not sidetracked by them or think they mean anything, because I am free from my shackles of fear, but finding your purpose is not a cure-all for every downtrodden feeling you don’t want to experience.
A “bad” day doesn’t mean you aren’t on your destined path. It’s just that—a “bad” day. Once you get this fearless thing down, you’ll discover that there are no “bad” days, just fear-based ones.
When you know the direction you are being called to, stay the course. There will be ups and downs, and there will be times when you question whether you are on the right path. Take time to consider the path you are on and whether or not your needs are being met, but don’t give up when things aren’t perfect or exactly how you expected.
Continue being willing and continue showing up for yourself. As we always say in Fearless Living: “Do what you can the best you can when you can.”
So, Rhonda, What If I Can’t Figure Out My Soul Purpose?
Great question. I’m going to give you the answer I give to every one of my students who asks that same question.
If you’re not clear what your soul purpose is, do all the above, yet, in the meantime, I have a soul purpose you can use to support your willingness to find and embrace a future version of your soul purpose.
Remember, soul purpose doesn’t have to be anything that involves what you do for a living.
So here goes: Love.
That’s it. Love.
Sages through the ages have said there are two basic emotions: Fear and Love. That’s easier said than done. Just think of the last time you were in a loving relationship but were anything but? Exactly. Being loving when the world is not is “saint stuff.” So, choosing love as your soul purpose, at least until another one comes along, will give you so many opportunities to become more you—the real, authentic, transparent, empowering you.
Imagine what’s possible if you focused on expanding and embracing love as your soul purpose.
Well, let me tell you. Everything will happen. You will be a love magnet. Love attracts like-minded people who also are focused on becoming more loving.
Love opens your heart. Love opens your mind. Love allows you to give compassion to yourself and others. Love empowers you. Love creates more health in your body. Love is a cure-all for life’s ills. Love is the one soul purpose that we can all claim as our own. And it’s the one thing the world needs.
So if you’re unsure of what your soul purpose is and find yourself stalling to take action in your life because of that, choose love.
By the way, to get good at this love thing, you will have to befriend your fear. It’s a requirement, whether you like it or not.
Living the Life Your Soul Intended™
It doesn’t matter where you are in your life currently, you have the power to face all of those fears that have been holding you back, and when you do, you will open yourself up to a world of possibilities. You will finally see and feel who you were meant to be, and you can begin living the life your soul intended.™
My 10-week Fearless Living Training Program is based on decades of learning how to crack the secret code to fear—the fears that are keeping you from your soul purpose in life. With Fearless Living, you’ll learn how to determine your personal needs, prioritize healing and growth, and finally begin to follow the path you were destined to be on. Join us!
Follow me on social media and follow the Fearless Living blog for the latest news, strategies, stories, and ideas.