I’m back. I’m alive. And I’m a better woman for having spent the last 12 days in the woods, 6 nights of those alone. I don’t even know where to begin….
The journey of self-discovery I was on, and am still processing, was one of the most transformational experiences of my life. Spending 6 days and nights alone without a soul to talk with and no distractions (books, music, etc were big no-no’s) left me with ample time to explore who I am without anything between me and the world.
Skill acquired: I can now determine the difference in the buzzing of a bee, a fly or a hummingbird. Their wings sound different.
A favorite pastime was watching the weather. It became absolutely fascinating when I had nothing to do all day. I spent a lot of time watching red ants trying to get up a hill with their dinner (learned a lesson from that). I buried a caterpillar who died in front of me (supposedly that is a good thing). A hummingbird gave me a piece of its mind (or heart) while I was meditating on a white crystal quartz rock that was just above my tent area (again, I was told that was good).
The crystal goes about a thousand feet into the ground and probably rises a hundred feet above it. I spent every morning on the rocks meditating, watching my thoughts and just being. Doing isn’t much of an option.
Also, I fasted so food was not a distraction. It was me and my thoughts. Alone.
Before I left I had decided to court loneliness, emptiness and pain. I’m sure you are thinking, “Oh goody!” Yes, that’s what I thought too at first. Yet, I wanted a more intimate relationship with these three remarkable experiences.
Poem I wrote:
When there are no thoughts,
you can touch the emptiness
that always exists
never not there
to be seen
When you are in the present moment, there is no pain.
It is the thoughts of the past and future that occupied my mind that cause my pain. The repetitive conversations I was having with myself about people I didn’t know, things I didn’t care about and events that never happened. All of it not based on facts but rather my Wheel of Fear spinning ’round and ’round.
Sacred Passage with John P. Milton is worth the time, money and self-investment for those of you who are looking for the next leg of your spiritual journey.
I shall share more as I take a little more time to process everything that happened…..Dreams, dark night of the soul, bliss, poems surging out of me, awakenings, etc. Oh my!