Earlier this year, I worked with a group of lovely souls on the Confidence Activation Workshop. Ultimately, the workshop taught participants how to make soul decisions that ignite your confidence and sense of purpose.
In Part 1, I walked you through understanding where you’re at, finding your recipe for confidence, determining what stands in your way, and the difference between your true nature and the impact of the external world. If you haven't already, view Part 1 here: How to Define Your Essence.
In Part 2, we’ll focus on making soul decisions by understanding your own current decision criteria and learning how to use your true essence to filter decisions instead.
Get a pen and paper ready because I have many questions and exercises to help you ignite your true purpose. Let’s get to it!
What Decisions Are on Your Horizon
On the top of your paper, write “Decision Making.” And now go ahead and write down any of the decisions that are currently on your horizon. What decisions in your life are on the table right now? What are you currently contemplating?
For example, you might be deciding where to go on vacation this year. Or you might be deciding if you should make a big move, like buying a new house, changing your career, ending or starting a relationship, or whether or not you’re ready to write a book.
It doesn’t need to be a life changing decision. It could be simpler, such as choosing which computer to buy or who to invite to your birthday party—but not as simple as where to go out for lunch or what to watch on Netflix.
Now that you have some decisions floating out there, it’s time to actively say yes, no, or maybe. How do you make decisions that stay true to your essence?
What’s Your Decision Criteria?
Normally, when you make a decision, do you think back on your values first? Do you consider your true nature and essence before you make a decision, whether big or small?
Do you look at money?
Do you look for approval?
Do you look for permission?
Do you look for a sign?
What’s your go-to filtering system? We all use filters to make decisions.
Take your thoughts back to your piece of paper. Write down the filters you typically lean on when making a decision.
What are the first things that come to mind? Do you ask yourself whether you have enough money or time? Do you question whether or not you believe in yourself? Do you consider what support you have?
What criteria do you filter through in order to make a decision?
It may be more than one, but you might find, when you deeply consider it, that all of your decision making falls back on one common filtering system.
For most of us, when we’re in that precontemplation stage, we tend to consider and worry about external factors like what other people think, how we will look, what the costs are, or if something could go wrong.
But what I hope you’ll do today is look at your decision making with a brand new focus. I want you to filter your decisions through your true nature. If you haven’t already done so, go back to part 1, where I walk through the steps to uncover your essence.
Use Your Essence to Filter Decisions
Instead of the usual filtering system you use to make decisions, I invite you to use your essence as your leading filtering system. The essence of who you are is completely connected to and fueled by the divine source.
And by the way, feel free to use a different word for your essence. It’s whatever feels best to you. It could be “divine,” “the source,” “intuition,” or “your true nature.” Whatever it is that is more expansive and deep than your human reality.
What would it look like if your decisions sprouted from a place within you instead of an external force?
Go back to where you listed your upcoming decisions. For each of them, consider whether or not your outcome would change if you were to instead lead with your soul—your essence.
How would your decision change if your actual filter—the first filter anything went through—was the essence of who you are?
Write down what would be different. Describe how your decisions might change and what those outcomes would look like. Would it shift your decision at all? For some aspects of your life, you may already be leading with your true nature. That’s a great start, but how can you lean into this further, with a deeper trust of your nature, fueled by the divine.
Now, write down what percentage of the time you’re living from this true nature we’ve been defining. What percent of your decisions are made based on your essence rather than your human reality?
What happens far too often is that our evaluation process is influenced first and foremost by the external world, and this is natural.
We’re all human beings, and it’s a human response to react to the external world in this way. And often the bigger the decision, the more we lean on those external factors, even though big decisions are when your essence is needed most.
You’ll go through your evaluation process and you’ll wonder if it’s a good enough decision, if it’s the right decision, if it’s a smart decision, and if other people will approve of or like the decision. You’ll use all of this criteria that has nothing to do with the truth of who you are.
So, how do you bring yourself back from the pressures of human reality to align with your essence? In other words, how do you make soul decisions?
How to Make Soul Decisions
Keep in mind that aligning with your true essence isn’t a simple task that will happen overnight or with one read of this guide.
It’s a long journey, and you will have ups and downs and so many learning opportunities. It’s all part of the process, and step-by-step, you will continue to get closer to your true nature. And in doing so, closer to your version of the divine.
What I want you to do the next time you’re faced with a decision is ask yourself the following questions:
- Does the decision originate from my essence?
- Is the decision outside my comfort zone?
- Does the decision align with my guiding principles?
- Does the decision align with my personal values?
- Does the decision support my desired belief system?
- Could the decision help me be a more authentic version of myself?
- Will the decision potentially solve the problem I am experiencing?
- Am I willing to feel a feeling I don’t want to feel when I make this decision?
- Do I have the courage to make this decision?
- Am I willing to ask for help and seek resources when I am living in the unknown?
So, if you’re thinking about applying for a promotion at work, on a scale of 1 to 10, where do you stand when it comes to each of these questions?
First, on a scale of 1 to 10, does the decision originate from your essence? Next, on a scale of 1 to 10, is the decision outside of your comfort zone?
Continue working through these questions to determine whether or not the decision is aligned with your essence.
This exercise is even more powerful when you are comparing multiple decisions. First, describe the problem you are facing. For example, you might say, “I want to quit my job and open my own business but I’m worried about money and what my family will think.”
What decision options do you have before you? For this example, it might be to stay at your job, quit your job, or go back to school.
Now for each of these, you can work through your soul decision questions, scaling each one from 1 to 10. When you get to the end, total each of the options to determine which decision is most aligned with your essence.
Soul Decision Congruency Scale
This is what it might look like after you’ve scaled each question from 1-10 for each option.
| Decision Options | Stay at Job | Leave Job | Go Back to School |
| Does the decision originate from my essence? | 2 | 6 | 7 |
| Is the decision outside my comfort zone? | 1 | 9 | 10 |
| Does the decision align with my guiding principles? | 5 | 8 | 8 |
| Does the decision align with my personal values? | 4 | 7 | 7 |
| Does the decision support my desired belief system? | 4 | 6 | 8 |
| Could the decision help me be a more authentic version of myself? | 2 | 8 | 9 |
| Will the decision potentially solve the problem I am experiencing? | 1 | 7 | 9 |
| Am I willing to feel a feeling I don’t want to feel when I make this decision? | 4 | 6 | 6 |
| Do I have the courage to make this decision? | 8 | 5 | 5 |
| Am I willing to ask for help and seek resources when I am living in the unknown? | 5 | 5 | 6 |
| Congruency Totals | 36 | 67 | 75 |
In the end, you can add up your totals to determine what path is best aligned with your essence. In this example, the soul decision is to go back to school.
Of course, this is a very simplified look at complex problems and large, life-altering decisions. However, it’s a great place to start if you are struggling to choose between multiple options or want a clear glimpse of how aligned a decision you’re about to make is with your essence.
In my one-on-one confidence activation workshop, we tackled so much more, but I wanted to give everyone a taste of the powerful concepts we worked through.
Transcend by Living Fearlessly
Defining your essence is a journey and truly living it is not an easy road, but it’s one that must be walked in order to live the life your soul intended™.
The resources and welcoming community of Fearless You can help! It’s your one-stop shop for everything you need to define your essence, make soul decisions, and build unshakable confidence.
Earlier this year, I worked with a group of lovely souls on the Confidence Activation Workshop. Ultimately, the workshop taught participants how to make soul decisions that ignite your confidence and sense of purpose.
In Part 1, I walked you through understanding where you’re at, finding your recipe for confidence, determining what stands in your way, and the difference between your true nature and the impact of the external world. If you haven't already, view Part 1 here: How to Define Your Essence.
In Part 2, we’ll focus on making soul decisions by understanding your own current decision criteria and learning how to use your true essence to filter decisions instead.
Get a pen and paper ready because I have many questions and exercises to help you ignite your true purpose. Let’s get to it!
What Decisions Are on Your Horizon
On the top of your paper, write “Decision Making.” And now go ahead and write down any of the decisions that are currently on your horizon. What decisions in your life are on the table right now? What are you currently contemplating?
For example, you might be deciding where to go on vacation this year. Or you might be deciding if you should make a big move, like buying a new house, changing your career, ending or starting a relationship, or whether or not you’re ready to write a book.
It doesn’t need to be a life changing decision. It could be simpler, such as choosing which computer to buy or who to invite to your birthday party—but not as simple as where to go out for lunch or what to watch on Netflix.
Now that you have some decisions floating out there, it’s time to actively say yes, no, or maybe. How do you make decisions that stay true to your essence?
What’s Your Decision Criteria?
Normally, when you make a decision, do you think back on your values first? Do you consider your true nature and essence before you make a decision, whether big or small?
Do you look at money?
Do you look for approval?
Do you look for permission?
Do you look for a sign?
What’s your go-to filtering system? We all use filters to make decisions.
Take your thoughts back to your piece of paper. Write down the filters you typically lean on when making a decision.
What are the first things that come to mind? Do you ask yourself whether you have enough money or time? Do you question whether or not you believe in yourself? Do you consider what support you have?
What criteria do you filter through in order to make a decision?
It may be more than one, but you might find, when you deeply consider it, that all of your decision making falls back on one common filtering system.
For most of us, when we’re in that precontemplation stage, we tend to consider and worry about external factors like what other people think, how we will look, what the costs are, or if something could go wrong.
But what I hope you’ll do today is look at your decision making with a brand new focus. I want you to filter your decisions through your true nature. If you haven’t already done so, go back to part 1, where I walk through the steps to uncover your essence.
Use Your Essence to Filter Decisions
Instead of the usual filtering system you use to make decisions, I invite you to use your essence as your leading filtering system. The essence of who you are is completely connected to and fueled by the divine source.
And by the way, feel free to use a different word for your essence. It’s whatever feels best to you. It could be “divine,” “the source,” “intuition,” or “your true nature.” Whatever it is that is more expansive and deep than your human reality.
What would it look like if your decisions sprouted from a place within you instead of an external force?
Go back to where you listed your upcoming decisions. For each of them, consider whether or not your outcome would change if you were to instead lead with your soul—your essence.
How would your decision change if your actual filter—the first filter anything went through—was the essence of who you are?
Write down what would be different. Describe how your decisions might change and what those outcomes would look like. Would it shift your decision at all? For some aspects of your life, you may already be leading with your true nature. That’s a great start, but how can you lean into this further, with a deeper trust of your nature, fueled by the divine.
Now, write down what percentage of the time you’re living from this true nature we’ve been defining. What percent of your decisions are made based on your essence rather than your human reality?
What happens far too often is that our evaluation process is influenced first and foremost by the external world, and this is natural.
We’re all human beings, and it’s a human response to react to the external world in this way. And often the bigger the decision, the more we lean on those external factors, even though big decisions are when your essence is needed most.
You’ll go through your evaluation process and you’ll wonder if it’s a good enough decision, if it’s the right decision, if it’s a smart decision, and if other people will approve of or like the decision. You’ll use all of this criteria that has nothing to do with the truth of who you are.
So, how do you bring yourself back from the pressures of human reality to align with your essence? In other words, how do you make soul decisions?
How to Make Soul Decisions
Keep in mind that aligning with your true essence isn’t a simple task that will happen overnight or with one read of this guide.
It’s a long journey, and you will have ups and downs and so many learning opportunities. It’s all part of the process, and step-by-step, you will continue to get closer to your true nature. And in doing so, closer to your version of the divine.
What I want you to do the next time you’re faced with a decision is ask yourself the following questions:
- Does the decision originate from my essence?
- Is the decision outside my comfort zone?
- Does the decision align with my guiding principles?
- Does the decision align with my personal values?
- Does the decision support my desired belief system?
- Could the decision help me be a more authentic version of myself?
- Will the decision potentially solve the problem I am experiencing?
- Am I willing to feel a feeling I don’t want to feel when I make this decision?
- Do I have the courage to make this decision?
- Am I willing to ask for help and seek resources when I am living in the unknown?
So, if you’re thinking about applying for a promotion at work, on a scale of 1 to 10, where do you stand when it comes to each of these questions?
First, on a scale of 1 to 10, does the decision originate from your essence? Next, on a scale of 1 to 10, is the decision outside of your comfort zone?
Continue working through these questions to determine whether or not the decision is aligned with your essence.
This exercise is even more powerful when you are comparing multiple decisions. First, describe the problem you are facing. For example, you might say, “I want to quit my job and open my own business but I’m worried about money and what my family will think.”
What decision options do you have before you? For this example, it might be to stay at your job, quit your job, or go back to school.
Now for each of these, you can work through your soul decision questions, scaling each one from 1 to 10. When you get to the end, total each of the options to determine which decision is most aligned with your essence.
Soul Decision Congruency Scale
This is what it might look like after you’ve scaled each question from 1-10 for each option.
| Decision Options | Stay at Job | Leave Job | Go Back to School |
| Does the decision originate from my essence? | 2 | 6 | 7 |
| Is the decision outside my comfort zone? | 1 | 9 | 10 |
| Does the decision align with my guiding principles? | 5 | 8 | 8 |
| Does the decision align with my personal values? | 4 | 7 | 7 |
| Does the decision support my desired belief system? | 4 | 6 | 8 |
| Could the decision help me be a more authentic version of myself? | 2 | 8 | 9 |
| Will the decision potentially solve the problem I am experiencing? | 1 | 7 | 9 |
| Am I willing to feel a feeling I don’t want to feel when I make this decision? | 4 | 6 | 6 |
| Do I have the courage to make this decision? | 8 | 5 | 5 |
| Am I willing to ask for help and seek resources when I am living in the unknown? | 5 | 5 | 6 |
| Congruency Totals | 36 | 67 | 75 |
In the end, you can add up your totals to determine what path is best aligned with your essence. In this example, the soul decision is to go back to school.
Of course, this is a very simplified look at complex problems and large, life-altering decisions. However, it’s a great place to start if you are struggling to choose between multiple options or want a clear glimpse of how aligned a decision you’re about to make is with your essence.
In my one-on-one confidence activation workshop, we tackled so much more, but I wanted to give everyone a taste of the powerful concepts we worked through.
Transcend by Living Fearlessly
Defining your essence is a journey and truly living it is not an easy road, but it’s one that must be walked in order to live the life your soul intended™.
The resources and welcoming community of Fearless You can help! It’s your one-stop shop for everything you need to define your essence, make soul decisions, and build unshakable confidence.
