Do you know what Olympic athletes, successful high achievers and world-class performers have in common?
They ask for help. They admit they can’t do it alone.
They know it takes the guidance of someone who’s been in the trenches to help them steer clear of pitfalls and overcome the odds.
But first, they had to ask for help.
Do you have a difficult time asking for help?
For most of my life, I went it alone.
I never asked for help. That was way too scary.
I never thought I could ask for help. It was too vulnerable.
I figured if people wanted to help me, they would. Without me asking.
All of that was dead, dead, wrong. But I didn’t know that and I definitely didn’t know HOW to ask for help.
What was I supposed to do just blurt out, “Help Me?”
And then what?
I grew up in Northern Minnesota and Upper Michigan and asking for help was definitely a no-no.
Sure, you might ask your younger neighbor who owned the fancy snowplow to clear the five feet of snow from your driveway if you were 85 years old but not if you were able to shovel it yourself.
Do it yourself and figure it out yourself. That’s how I grew up. If I didn’t know how to do a math problem in high school, I would work the problem backward until I figured it out. Ask the teacher to explain it? NEVER!
Volunteering to help OTHER PEOPLE was easy and necessary but needing that same help? Forget about it.
The fear of being rejected or thought of as being stupid or appearing selfish stopped me for DECADES from getting help.
After my parents died, I did not ask for help from anyone.
When I ran out of money for college, tough luck.
After I got kicked out of my college apartment because I was acting crazy (I needed help, helllloooo!), I would stay with whatever boy I was dating (or sleeping with.)
It got so bad once that the mother of the boy I was dating paid me to leave. Of course, I was insulted but I took the money. I had to. (So much shame.) I didn’t know how else to help myself because I didn’t have the courage to ask for help. Not real help.
Not asking for help was keeping me stuck, a victim of my past. I couldn’t move forward because I wasn’t willing to cry Uncle and admit, “I need help.”
Shame followed me everywhere and I felt so weak and pitiful inside but no one knew it, I was good at hiding how desperate I felt.
Ever feel that way?
Do you ever wish you could ask for help and get it?
What if you could get help with no shame, no judgment. Just help. Just support. And some really good guidance from someone who’s been there.
How would your life be different if you finally admitted some support would be good right about now?
What could change if you had real support?
You know, the kind of support you felt viscerally. The kind where you knew someone had your back and would help you be YOUR best you, not the best THEY thought you should be.
When I finally had the courage to admit I needed help, my life started changing, the guilt starting fading and my light starting shining.
I want the same for you.
Asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you strong.