After reaching the top of his profession, Jeff suddenly lost his job. At the same time, he and his wife were on the brink of divorce.
Using the Fearless Living Training Program
Jeff discovered how fear was secretly ruining his career and relationships. And he learned how to create the relationship and work-life he wanted by mastering his fear.
Jeff landed a new job he loves, launched a side business, and even saved his marriage. And the lessons he learned have made him a better leader, husband, and father.
“Life was a mess...”
Jeff spent 15 years climbing the corporate ladder as an engineer.
He reached the top of his profession. Yet, he soon realized that the top wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
His job was draining. He came home each day too tired to spend time with his wife. And he was so consumed with his work that it put a strain on his marriage. Things got so bad that he and his wife were headed towards a divorce.
Then, Jeff suddenly lost his job.
With his career and marriage falling apart, Jeff knew he needed help. As he says:
“It felt like I needed to blow everything up and start over… Nothing was working, so I might as well get rid of everything and try something new.”
“I didn’t know where to start…”
Jeff never loved engineering. He only did it because he was good at it, and it was a smart career move.
After losing his job, Jeff decided to pursue work he actually enjoyed.
He loved helping people grow. So he began to look for programs where he could learn the skills to help others be their best.
He found Rhonda Britten’s Life Coaching Certification Program. After a 30-minute call with Rhonda to learn about the program, he knew it was a good fit, so he joined.
The first step in the program is to go through the Fearless Living Training Program [FLTP]. Jeff didn’t think he had any fear, but he figured that learning about fear would help him be a better leader.
“I went into [FLTP] thinking maybe it will make me a better leader, a better employee, and help understand myself better.”
“That exercise changed my life…”
Before FLTP, Jeff blamed everyone else for his problems.
He blamed his old boss for his career falling apart. And he thought his marriage problems would go away if his wife would change.
Because he blamed everyone else for his problems, Jeff felt like a victim with no power over his life.
All that changed when he did the Life Log exercise in FLTP.
Jeff tracked how he spent his time. And his FLTP coach had Jeff markdown whether each thing he did was a choice or something he “had to do.”
This exercise helped Jeff see how much control he had over his life.
He realized many of his struggles in his career and marriage were due to the choices he made. And once he realized this, he saw that he had the power to create the relationship and career he wanted.
“Everything that happened to me, I was blaming everybody else. It was everyone else's fault... And because it was everybody else’s fault, there was nothing I could change...
… I started to see very quickly through using the Life Log that I had a choice in every single thing that I did. And that opened up my world...”
“I didn’t think I was afraid...”
Jeff didn’t walk around feeling afraid. So he didn’t think fear was an issue for him.
Yet using the Wheel of Fear in FLTP, Jeff saw how fear was at the root of the biggest problems.
Jeff saw he had a deep-rooted fear of being seen as “incompetent.” And this fear caused huge problems in his life.
For example, Jeff had been thinking about starting a business for five years. But he kept putting it off, thinking he needed to get “everything lined up” before he could start.
Yet, he realized that putting this off was simply fear in disguise. He was actually afraid his business would fail, and he would be seen as incompetent. So he kept finding excuses to avoid starting it.
His fear of being seen as incompetent was also ruining his marriage.
Jeff’s wife would ask innocent questions about how his day went. And Jeff would get defensive, because he was subconsiously afraid of being seen as an incompetent dad.
“My trigger is incompetent, so anytime she would question whether I was doing something or not, I would go straight to ‘You think I’m a bad dad’... And we would fight.”
“I know why I do what I do now...”
Jeff then learned how to keep fear from running his life using the Wheel of Freedom.
The Wheel of Freedom helped Jeff feel whole and complete as he is. And it showed him how to step into his best self rather than acting out of fear.
One thing Jeff learned through the Wheel of Freedom exercises was the importance of having compassion for himself. Jeff had always been great at having compassion for others, yet he was always hard on himself.
By learning to have compassion for himself, Jeff became more confident and positive.
He also became open to new possibilities. And he began to trust things would work out rather than needing to be in control all the time.
“I listen more to my intuition than I ever have. I don’t need facts to know we’ll be okay, I know we’ll be able to get through it.”
“I launched my business…”
Jeff had never taken the time to get clear on who he was and what he wanted in life.
He had simply focused on climbing the corporate ladder because that’s what you’re “supposed” to do.
But the exercises in FLTP helped Jeff get clear on what mattered to him. And it helped him get the confidence to create the life he wanted.
Jeff landed a job he loves. And he now leads a team of engineers and helps them develop personally and professionally.
He let go of the need to have “everything lined up” in order to start a business. And once he finished the Life Coaching Certification Program, he launched a business as Life Coach.
Between his new job and business, Jeff spends his days doing work that energizes him rather than drains him.
And he’s doing what he loves instead of following the path he’s “supposed” to take.
“I don’t need to walk anyone else’s path anymore, I can walk my own”
“I’m not sure I’d be married if it wasn’t for FLTP…”
The work Jeff did in FLTP also helped him save his marriage.
Jeff learned how his unconscious fears led to fights and arguments with his wife. And he learned how to master his fear, so those fights and arguments stopped happening.
And now, when they disagree, Jeff and his wife can work through the issue without getting emotional or defensive.
For example, Jeff’s wife brought up the idea of moving to the country. Jeff was originally against the idea and worried about everything that could go wrong.
But through FLTP, Jeff was able to manage his fears. They ended up moving to a new home in the country that he and his family love.
“[FLTP] allowed [my wife and I] to understand ourselves better, accept who we are, and build a great relationship on top of that.”
“I have a better relationship with my kids…”
The work Jeff did in FLTP helped him save his marriage, launch a business, and land a new job doing work he loves.
It also helped him become a better father, manager, and leader. Because once he saw how fear ran his own life, he was able to see how it ran other people’s lives as well. And he could help them master their fears the same way he learned to master his own.
“[Without FLTP,] I never would’ve started my own business. I don’t know that I would still
be married. I have a much better relationship with my kids than I did…”
“You’ve got to put a leash on your fear”
FLTP helped Jeff regain power over his life.
He stopped accepting what he was given and began to create the life he wanted.
He no longer feels like a victim. Because he now sees the choice and power he has to live a great life.
If you want to live the life you want, Jeff says you can once you learn to master your fear.
“For a long time, I felt like this is just what my life was going to be like for the next 30 years until I got to retire. And if that’s how you feel, it doesn’t have to be that way.
You can do anything you want to do, but you have to learn to put a leash on your fear.”