Are You Being Who You Want to Be?

I've asked myself that question a million trillion times...

Are you being who you want to be?

I could ask it a bunch of ways...

Does this action align with my highest good?

Will this food support me living at my best?

How can I be my better self in this relationship?


I don't know how you filter your world, but you do.

Everyone filters...but you may not even know it.


Life moves so fast and our filters help us navigate the many decisions we make every day.

Think of your filter as a shortcut.You don't have to ruminate for hours on end about every single decision because it quickly and easily allows in what works for you and filters out what doesn't.


The problem is if you're not living your life the way you'd like, your filtering system may be giving you the worst advice and be the very reason you aren't where you wanna be because your filter is like an invisible veil that goes over everything you experience, like a lens, so to speak.


If you've ever used Instagram or Camera Plus or any of the countless photos apps you've probably put a filter over your photos.


Check out the photo below of me and my sweet nieces...Rachel and Deena. It's one of my favorite pictures. They were still in high school and their world was laid out before them... so many decisions. (Think about how many decisions you make every day?! Whew!)

From the time they were 14 years old, we took a trip together every year, just the three of us. Driving up the California coast in a convertible, parasailing in the Virgin Islands, roaming Michigan Avenue in Chicago...


My nieces are all grown up now. Rachel has a husband and two kids while Deena is a defense attorney. Two very different paths, two very different filters, two very different outcomes...


No filter                                 lace filter                           shadow filter


Filters make all the difference to our happiness, our confidence, our success. It actually decides the meaning you place on the events in your life.


Look at the photos of my nieces and I. There's a big difference between what you can see in the no filter photo versus the lace and shadow filters.

With the shadow filter, can you even make out where we are? And with the lace one, can you see that my niece has braces? Sure the lace is pretty and it might make everything look romantic, but you can't see the real deal.


This is how we go through life. And we don't even know it.


Are you looking through your life with a lace or shadow filter? Is yours more grunge? Boxed in? Burned?


A kind gesture from a co-worker? Do you see it as kissing your butt, or trying to manipulate you, or a helping hand or a flirt? And what if that same kind gesture was done by your frienemy?


What you DECIDE their actions mean is based on your filtering system.

The more ingrained the filtering system, the more rigid and closed you could be.


Has anyone ever complimented you? Did you accept it and say, "Damn straight!" with a whole bunch of pride? Or are you like so many people who look at the compliment through a filter of "no way" and hem and haw trying to accept it but not believing it anyway.

The purpose of filters is to make our lives easier. Sadly, it's just not normally the case. We may be able to make snap decisions all right, but those snap decisions betray our very souls. They make us less than who we are meant to be.


Like I said, we all have filters.

So the question is:

Is your filter helping you be who you want to be?


Or do you have, like most people, a filter that sabotages you waaaay too often?


I want you to think about your filter for the next 24 hours...just start noticing it.


Your filter might be:
Do I feel accepted?

Am I safe?
Will they reject me?

Will I succeed?

Could I be found out?
Am I good enough?


There are so many more options.


By the way, life would be pretty harsh if we had no filters. Our filters give our life it's meaning. Like I said, we all have filters. I just want you to have one that works FOR you, not against you.

The Foundation of It all

In her groundbreaking seminal work, Rhonda Britten shows you how to master the emotional fears that keep you stuck in old cycles. Fearless Living is the foundation for all of Rhonda’s work, and it gives you an overview of her philosophies on how fear can take your life captive.

Enter your name and email address below to receive Rhonda’s Fear of the Unknown course.

By Rhonda Britten

Rhonda, voted America’s Favorite Life Coach is here to help you get unstuck. “Everyone needs Fearless Living”- Oprah Winfrey With her acclaimed method called Fearless Living, Rhonda Britten has helped thousands of people let go of indecision, gain clarity of purpose, and take life-changing risks. Her work exposes the roots of fear and gives you the tools to move beyond that insidious universal feeling of “not being good enough.” The result is unstoppable confidence and a world of unlimited possibilities.

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